Never Wanna Live Without You
by Toonces
Summary: Matt and Kitty's relationship is new and Matt thinks it might be too good to be true.
1. John Luff

**Gunsmoke:** _Never Wanna Live Without You_

Part 1

"Kitty's gonna be upset," Matt said to himself as he walked briskly to the Long Branch. He and Kitty were supposed to take supper by the creek later on, but he had just received a telegraph stating that his presence was needed in Garden City. If he left soon and rode hard, he would get there by the end of the night.

Stopping at the double doors, he looked inside and spotted her at a table in front, chatting and laughing with some cowboy. She was a beautiful sight in a red, satin dress with black, lace trim and black heels. Kitty had been in Dodge for six months already, but whenever he saw her, it was like he was seeing her for the first time. She was absolutely breathtaking. He snapped himself out of it and walked inside.

Kitty noticed him right away and excused herself. "Hello, Matt," she said with a smile, meeting him over at the bar. She was very much looking forward to dinner with him later on. From the moment she first laid eyes on the huge man she was smitten. Her attraction to him was immediate and she was glad to find that the magnetism was returned.

She had begun work at the Long Branch almost immediately and he and Chester would come in almost every evening to have a drink with her. She was often invited to dine with them, including Doc Adams, but it took a whole three months before Matt had finally asked her to eat dinner with him alone. It was also that night that he had kissed her for the first time and it was by far the most amazing kiss she ever had. No man had _ever_ affected her the way he did.

"Hi, Kitty," he said as he pushed his hat back. His eyes took a quick scan of her body.

"How about a beer?" she asked.

"No, thanks, Kitty. I actually came to talk to you about tonight," he said lowering his voice to an intimate level.

"What about it?" Kitty asked even though she could probably guess.

"I don't think I'll be able to make it. I just got a telegram from Garden City and they need me up there right away," he told her, watching her closely to gauge her reaction. This wasn't the first time Matt had to break a date with her and so far she had been understanding. He couldn't help wondering when she would get sick of it though and maybe sick of him. It happened with past girlfriends and even though Kitty was like no woman he had ever met, he couldn't help wondering how long this thing they had would last. Sometimes it seemed too good to be true.

Kitty only sighed. She was disappointed, but she wasn't upset with him. She knew from the beginning that his job kept him busy and she knew that she couldn't expect him to drop everything for her all the time. "It's alright, Matt. I understand. You just go on and be careful," she told him seriously. "I just found you and I'm not ready to let you go yet," she smiled. Matt returned her smile and reached over to take her hand.

"Thanks, Kitty." He wanted very badly to kiss her lips goodbye, but not in front of a room full of people. Instead, he opted for the back of her hand. "I'll see you when I get back." She gave him one last smile and he watched for a moment as she walked back over to the cowboy from earlier, then he headed out to the stables.

MKMK

Two days passed before Matt got back to town. He was beyond tired and in need of a bath and a shave, but above all that he wanted a nice cold beer and to see Kitty. He dropped his horse off to Moss Grimmick and headed toward the Long Branch. Stopping just inside the double doors, he looked around, but didn't spot her.

"Welcome back, Marshal. What can I get you?" Sam asked as he approached the bar.

"Thanks, Sam. I'll have a beer," Matt ordered, figuring Kitty would be back before he was done. He took his drink and went to stand at the far end of the bar. He was about halfway through with it when he heard the unmistakable sound of her laughter outside. Looking toward the door, he saw her enter with the cowboy from two nights ago right behind her, his arms full of packages.

"Thanks for carrying my things, John," he heard her say. "You can just sit them on the table here." Matt watched as the man did just that and smiled at Kitty. He stood about two inches taller than her with black hair that was a little on the long side. He had a handsome, chiseled face and hazel eyes.

"It's no problem, Kitty," he said with a smooth, deep voice. "Anytime you need anything, all you got to do is ask." Matt continued to watch as they talked for a few more moments. He immediately noticed the way John looked at Kitty and he knew what that look was. He had noticed it a couple of days ago, too, but a lot of men looked at her that way and he certainly couldn't blame them. She looked absolutely stunning in a green and gold dress with matching hat, handbag _and_ parasol. The dress hugged, dipped and flowed in all the right places. Matt imagined that quite a few of the men in Dodge got cricks in their necks when she walked down the street. It didn't bother him that other men looked at Kitty, but something about the way this John fellow stared told Matt that he was interested in more than just carrying Kitty's packages.

Matt didn't know why he was worrying over it though. Despite the fact that he and Kitty had had some fun together over the past three months, he hadn't asked her to be his girl and wasn't sure that he was going to. Not with a job like his and not after the disaster with Leona. So far, in his days as marshal, he hadn't met one woman who didn't have issue with his job. He tried to make it work with them, but eventually they became impatient with him and it would end badly. Kitty had been good about things, but he was still pretty sure that it was only a matter of time.

Kitty watched as John left. She had been walking home from the dress shop when he approached her and asked if he could help her. He seemed to be showing up a lot lately, when she least expected it. She'd turn around and there he was. He was always nice and polite though and he never tried anything. It seemed as if he was genuinely a nice man and she'd be lying if she said he wasn't attractive. But still, her heart was set on Matt and that wasn't changing anytime soon.

Turning around to the bar, she finally noticed him standing there. "Hey, Matt," she said giving him a big smile. "I didn't see you there. Why didn't you say something?" she asked walking over to him.

"I didn't want to interrupt anything," Matt said as he took another swallow of his beer. He would never admit that he was just a little jealous.

"Oh, that was just John. He caught me on the street and offered to carry my packages for me," Kitty explained. "I sure could use some help getting them upstairs though," she said innocently.

"Well, I think I can help you out with that," said Matt. They walked over to the table and each gathered up a handful. Kitty led the way up the stairs and handed her load to Matt while she unlocked the door.

"You can just sit them on the bed," she told him as she shut the door behind them. This was the first time that he had ever been in her room. It was decorated in dark green wallpaper on the top half of the walls, and dark wood paneling on the bottom half. There were a few pictures hung and an empty vase was sitting on the mantle of the fireplace. "When did you get back?" she asked as she took her hat off and sat it on the bed.

"Just about twenty minutes ago. I dropped my horse off and came straight here."

"Oh, well, I'm glad you made it back safely. Did everything go okay?"

"Yeah, everything was fine," Matt told her as he walked over to where she was standing. "Do you think you'll be free for dinner tonight?" he asked. Kitty looked up at him and smiled.

"I think I can manage to get away." She stepped closer and took his hands. "Aren't you gonna give me a proper hello?" she asked looking up at him suggestively. Matt stepped even closer still and placed his hands on her waist. He leaned down and kissed her tenderly. It was such a nice feeling to come home to someone who missed you. His tongue lightly teased her lips and then he slowly pulled away.

"That better?" he asked, his hands now clasped behind her back.

"Much," Kitty smiled as she laid her head on his chest, her arms wrapped as far as they could go around his middle. Oh, how she could love this man forever.

"Listen, I need to go on over and get cleaned up and get some rest. I'll be back around six to pick you up, alright?"

"I'll be here," she said. Matt leaned down to give her one last peck and then left.

As he walked along, he thought maybe he was being silly to worry about this John person. If a few minutes ago were any indication of the way Kitty felt then he knew he had nothing to worry about.

Matt walked into the jail and was glad to find it empty. It would be noon in a few minutes and all he wanted to do was sleep. Hopefully, the town would stay quiet, Chester would stay busy, and he could catch up with him later. He plopped down onto the cot, pulled off his boots and laid down, practically asleep before his head hit the pillow.

MKMK

Three hours later, Matt woke up to the sound of Chester fumbling around in the office. "…fly in the sugar bowl, shoo shoo shoo, skip to my Lou, my darlin'…" he sang. He slowly sat up on his thin cot and rubbed his gritty eyes.

"Chester?" he called, his voice thick with sleep.

"Oh, howdy, Mr. Dillon," he said with a toothy smile. "Goodness, I didn't even see ya over there. Were ya sleepin'?"

"Yeah, Chester, I was sleepin'," Matt said, amazed at his friend's simplemindedness. He grabbed for his boots knowing that it would be pointless to try and get back to sleep with Chester around. "Say, what time is it?"

"It's gettin' ta be about three fifteen," Chester answered as he poured them both a cup of coffee.

"Anything happen while I was gone?" He took the proffered cup and went to sit at his desk, taking a healthy swig to try and wake up his still drowsy mind.

"Ya know, fer once, Mr. Dillon, I can actually tell ya that ain't nothin' happened while you was gone," Chester said.

"Good." Matt finished his coffee and stood up. "Look, Chester, I'm gonna head over for a bath and shave. Keep an eye on things while I'm gone, will ya?"

"Sure thing, Mr. Dillon. I just got me a new dime novel and I've been itchin' to start readin' it," he smiled. "I'll see ya later."

MKMK

Matt sat in the barber's chair with a hot towel wrapped around his face giving an occasional "Mmhm" as Teeters talked on and on.

"Ya know that there barn dance is next week, Marshal. Half of Dodge is probably gonna be there. I hear the ladies from the church are gonna be providin' the food this year. That Widow Harper sure makes a mean batch o' fried chicken…and Mrs. Jakes' cornbread…I can hardly wait." Teeters unwrapped the towel from around his face. "You're all done, Marshal."

"Thanks," Matt told him as he stood up and began straightening his collar. He pulled out the correct amount of money and placed it in the jar and then walked over toward the door, grabbing his gun belt from the hook. Looking up at the sound of approaching footsteps, he saw the mysterious John coming in the door.

"Well, hello there, Marshal. I don't think we've actually met. Name's John Luff," introduced. The man didn't look like a gun slinger, but he looked a little too clean cut to be just a cowboy.

"Luff," Matt said with a tilt of his head.

"How long of a wait, barber?" John asked.

"'Bout ten minutes, fella." Teeters said, already started on the next man. He turned back to Matt.

"Maybe I'll see ya 'round, Marshal. I'll probably stop by the Long Branch later on." He gave a smug smile and walked over to a chair to wait. Matt watched him for a few seconds and then headed out. He didn't like him. Maybe it was because he didn't like the way he looked at Kitty or maybe it was just the feeling he had about him. Later on, he would go through the wanted posters and make sure he wasn't in there.

Matt's thoughts drifted back to what Teeter's had said earlier about the barn dance. He had yet to ask Kitty and surprisingly she had said nothing about it. He figured that by now she would be hinting at it or making preparations for a new dress. That's what Lee always did, and Cara, and they would throw some sort of fit if he wasn't able to make it, especially Cara.

Matt thought about all of the good food that Teeter's had mentioned, as well, and he almost wished the dance was tonight just so he could have some. While he was in Garden City, one of the deputies at the jail had cooked them a supper of chicken, fish and corn on the cob, directly over an open flame and the taste was incredible. It had been a long time since he had any food cooked that way. Maybe he and Kitty would skip Delmonico's tonight. He had something much better in mind.

To be continued...


	2. Dinner Outside

**Gunsmoke:** _Never Wanna Live Without You_

Part 2

"Matt, this is wonderful," Kitty said as she took in the smells of the grilling fish and pork chops. When Matt stopped by the Long Branch to pick her up earlier, she was surprised to find a buggy waiting outside for them. He told her that they were going on a small picnic instead of Delmonico's as usual. He had brought along a sack with everything they would need and made camp just a few miles outside of town by the river. "I just wish you would have told me so I could've dressed a little more appropriate," she said as she looked down at her frilly maroon and white dress.

"You look just fine," Matt said as he looked up from poking at the food.

"Yeah, says you who isn't wearing a layer of petticoats and uncomfortable bloomers." Matt only chuckled as he leaned back against a rock.

"Well, why do you wear all that stuff then, if it's so uncomfortable?" Kitty squinted her eyes and stepped closer. Matt looked up dumbly as she loomed above him with her hands on her hips.

"I don't really have much choice now do I? Besides," she said, "I'm sure some man invented this stuff years ago because he thought it was the _appropriate_ thing for women to wear, not thinking that perhaps we enjoy comfort, too." She sat down next to him and stretched out her fancily booted feet. "Sometimes I'd give anything to run around all day in a pair of pants and a shirt…and work boots."

"Why don't you?"

"You're just full of questions tonight." She scooted a little closer to him and leaned her back against his arm. "And to answer that question, I don't think I'd make too much money if I paraded around in a cowboy's wardrobe."

"I don't know, Kitty. I think you could make a rucksack look pretty darn good." She smiled.

"Yeah, well, I don't think I'll try it."

Matt watched her affectionately for a few moments and then asked, "Comfortable?"

"Very. Your arm is nice and soft."

"Soft!" he asked incredulously. "I'll have you know that these guns are as solid as the rock I'm leaning against," he said flexing the arm she wasn't using. Now, it was Kitty's turn to laugh. "Well, excuse me, but me and my soft arms need to go and check the food." She smiled as he got up and walked over to where the fire was set up.

When they first got there, she watched as he built a small fire and set up the grilling contraption. He put a few large chunks of charcoal into the fire, once it got going, and then let it burn until the charcoal started to ash. Next, he placed four fork shaped, iron spikes in the ground, forming a square around the fire, and then placed an iron rack on top. After all of that was taken care of, he placed two pork chops on the rack, and then caught two fish for them and did the same. Then, much to Kitty's surprise, he pulled two ears of corn out of the sack, as well.

"Say, you're pretty good at all this," she said.

"Well, I oughta be. I had to live outside and survive plenty of times in my life, so far." He came back over and sat down beside her and she looked at him expectantly. He sighed and put his arm around her so she could snuggle into him.

"Much softer than the rock," she mumbled as she closed her eyes.

"You gonna take a nap?" Matt asked her.

"Hmm, maybe."

"Why don't you take those shoes off?"

"I thought about it, but I figured as soon as I do, someone will come lookin' for ya and then our nice evening would be ruined."

"Well, I can't promise that won't happen, but you should take your shoes off anyway," he told her.

"You just wanna see my feet."

"You have pretty feet."

"I never thought so."

"Well, I do."

"Then you take them off since it's your fault I'm wearing them anyway," Kitty told him.

"That means you're gonna have to move so I can get up. It's time for me to check the food again anyway." Matt smiled as she sighed and moved off of him.

Kitty watched as he carefully unlaced her shoes for her. They had only known each other for a little over six months, but she felt like she had been with him forever. Never had she felt so comfortable with someone so quickly. He was her best friend.

He slipped the first boot off and she wiggled her now free toes. As soon as he got the second shoe off, she did the same with that foot. "Uh, you might be more comfortable if you take your hose off," Matt suggested while eyeing the exposed part of her legs. Kitty smiled slyly and placed her foot on his thigh suggesting, without words, that he do it. "I, uh, gotta check the food," he stammered some as he stood and turned to their dinner. Kitty held in a giggle as she took the time to unhook her stockings from their garters before Matt turned back around.

Sometimes, the naughtiest things came out of his mouth and then other times he turned into a shy schoolboy when she turned the tables on him. They had yet to be intimate, and Kitty's feelings for him only continued to grow. The only problem was that she didn't know exactly where she stood with him. She knew that they always had a good time together and he only treated her with the utmost respect, but sometimes she wasn't sure if he wanted more or not, whether he wanted something long term or not. There had been a few men in the past that treated her just like Matt was treating her now, but ultimately she found that they were only after one thing and she wasn't interested in being anyone's toy. She prayed that Matt was different from all the others.

"Hey, what are you thinking about over there?" Matt asked from his spot by the fire.

"Oh, just you."

"Me? What about me?" he said moving back beside her.

"Just thinkin' about how much I like you," she smiled up at him.

"Yeah, well I like you, too…" He leaned down close and kissed her lips. "…a lot," he said before deepening the kiss. Kitty closed her eyes and enjoyed the attention. She just knew in her heart that he was different.

"Mmm…you lips taste like honey," she said in between kisses. Matt felt her tongue poke out to taste them. "And they're so soft."

"It's that lip balm you gave me," Matt chuckled. A few weeks ago he had come home from a trip and his lips were dry and chapped. Kitty had suggested the lip balm that she sometimes used and he reluctantly accepted it, thinking it girly, but he soon learned that the stuff did wonders. "I'd better check the food before it burns," he told her, not really wanting to stop kissing.

"Okay," she said even though her fingers were still buried in his hair. Matt gave her one last smooch before pulling away.

"Is it soup yet? I'm starving over here," Kitty said patting her empty stomach. She looked over at the sack he had brought along and began rifling through it.

"Almost, I just need to add the finishing touches." He turned around to get the sack and found her going through it.

"Matt you really thought of everything," she said smiling as she pulled out butter, salt, pepper…and plates! Matt smiled back and grabbed the items.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I certainly don't want any bland food."

"Matt, that was delicious," Kitty said as she put her plate aside. She ate her fish and corn and a small piece of her pork chop, but Matt had to finish it off for her.

"Yeah, I can't believe I forgot the utensils though." Kitty giggled.

"It's okay. It's been a good long while since I got down and dirty and ate with my fingers."

"So, did you have a good time tonight?" Matt asked.

"I sure did. We should do this more often," she said as she took up her spot in his arms again. Matt rested his cheek on her head and looked up at the sky. The sun was starting to set and they would need to head back to town soon.

"Kitty, would you like to go to the barn dance with me next Saturday?"

"That would be lovely, Matt. I overheard a few of the girls talking about it. I've never been to a barn dance, ya know?"

"Well, all it is is a dance in a barn. It's probably a little less fancy than what you're used to," he explained, thinking that growing up in New Orleans she had probably gone to all sorts of fancy balls and formal get-togethers.

"I've been to my share of fancy gatherings I suppose," she said thinking back on those times, "But they aren't always what they're cracked up to be. I'll probably have more fun at this Dodge City barn dance than I've ever had at any other dance." Especially if she was going with him.

"Now, Kitty, I'll do everything I can to make sure nothing comes up, but if it does, then I might not be able to make it," he warned. It was the same warning he always gave to Lee and Cara.

"Its okay, Matt, I understand." And that was the same answer they always gave. "Now, come on so we can get back. I still have to work a few hours tonight," she told him as they began gathering up their mess. "Plus, I have to get up early tomorrow."

"What for?" he asked.

"Well, there's a barn dance on Saturday and the most handsome man in Dodge has asked me to go, so, naturally, I'll need a new dress." Kitty winked and Matt only chuckled as they walked to the buggy.

To be continued...


	3. The Night Before

**Gunsmoke:** _Never Wanna Live Without You_

Part 3

"So are ya gonna be at the dance tommora, Miss Kitty?" asked Chester grinning at her like a fool. He had come in earlier for one beer and he ended up staying for three.

"I sure am, Chester. Aren't you gonna be there?"

"Oh, sure, sure. I just need ta find someone ta ask," he said sipping his beer.

"You mean you haven't asked anyone yet?" she said surprised. The dance was less than twenty four hours away.

"Well, to tell the truth, I probably won't ask anybody. I just don't feel like bein' tied down to any one person. I just wanna have a nice time, maybe dance a few dances and then go home," he told her.

"You don't seem very excited about it. I thought these Dodge City barn dances were a big deal around here."

"Oh, they are, but I've been to my share," he said dismissively. "The excitement wares off after while." Kitty held in a laugh as she listened to him go on. She knew that the real reason he wasn't excited was because he wouldn't be able to go with Lois Barnum. He had waited too long to ask her and she was going with Stanley Vernon instead. Doc had come in earlier and told her all about.

"Well, you be sure and save a dance for me, Chester."

"I sure will, Miss Kitty," he said. He tipped his head back to finish the last of his beer and then wiped the foam from his lip. "Well, I guess I'd better head back to the jail."

"Come on, I'll walk you out," Kitty said standing. They said their goodbyes and she watched for a moment as he limped down the boardwalk.

A slight chill was in the air and she rubbed at her naked arms. Autumn was just around the corner; she could smell it. She turned to look in the opposite way Chester had gone and caught sight of her big man coming toward her. He must have been on his rounds. "Hey there, Cowboy," she said smiling as he got nearer. He stopped closely in front of her and pushed his hat back on his head.

"Hi, Kitty," he said with a big grin.

"You out on your rounds?" she asked.

"Yeah, but I'm finished now."

"How about a short walk?"

"Alright," he said, glad she asked.

"I haven't seen much of you this week," Kitty said as the strolled down the deserted boardwalk.

"Yeah, I know. It's been real busy around here lately." Matt watched as she shivered a bit. "Cold?" he asked as he slipped an arm around her, pulling her into his side.

"Mm, just a little," she said, loving his touch. She felt so protected when she was with him. "Come here," she said as pulled him into a shadow. She leaned her back against the wall and pulled him in until he was pressed up against her, her arms wrapped around his neck. "You have yet to give me a proper hello," she whispered. Matt didn't waste any time as he leaned down and took her mouth in a sensual kiss. His tongue teased her lips open and explored every delicious inch of her mouth.

Kitty moaned as the kiss continued. She felt his large hands roaming down her hips and upper thighs, the feeling making her hot.

Matt was feeling pretty warm himself, the soft noises she was making only adding to his desire. He felt her hand slide down his chest and gently push. He pulled away, both of them breathing hard. "Matt," she said, trying to calm herself, "I have to go back to work." Matt only closed his eyes and groaned. Then he leaned in again to kiss her one last time and enfold her in his strong arms.

"Woman," he said miserably, "You drive me crazy." He buried his face in her neck, inhaling the sent of her intoxicating perfume. They stood that way for a few moments longer.

"I really should get back now," Kitty said. Matt reluctantly let go and they walked back to the saloon.

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then," he said with a sigh as they stopped a short ways from the door. Kitty smiled at him and then turned to go. She was just about to push the doors open when she suddenly turned back and walked to him. Matt looked at her with a furrowed brow and watched as she snaked a hand in between her breasts, pulling out something shiny.

"Here," she said pressing it into his hand. "Come and visit me when you're done tonight." She turned around again and quickly headed into the building. A smile spread across Matt's face as he looked down into his hand and saw a key.

MKMKMK

The next morning, Kitty slowly went about getting ready. Matt hadn't come to her last night and she wasn't sure why. The Long Branch had stayed open a little late, but there was no word of any trouble and the streets were still quiet once she went to her room. It hadn't been an easy decision for her to make, inviting Matt back to her room. He hadn't said the words, but she was so sure she saw it in his eyes on more than one occasion.

She looked at the new dress hanging over her changing screen. It was a beautiful, deep blue, strapless number and she was sure it would knock his socks off, but she wasn't as excited about the dance anymore. She felt kind of empty somehow. With a deep sigh, she pinned her hat to her head and left for breakfast.

Once in Delmonico's, she took a table near the far wall. She hadn't seen Matt on the street on the way over. The logical explanation would have been that he was somehow busy with work last night, but she still felt down for some reason, even a little foolish. Maybe she should have never given him her key at all.

"Mind if I join you?" came a deep voice from above. She looked up into the handsome face of John. She was so busy thinking about Matt that she didn't even hear him walk up.

"Sure," she said with a small smile. She would have rather been alone, actually, but she didn't want to be rude.

"So," he said as he sat down across from her, "You here to eat?" Kitty looked at him with a bit of a raised brow.

"That's the general idea," she responded, thinking his question stupid. He only gave her a lopsided smile.

"Well, you've been sittin' here for a few minutes haven't you?"

"Mhm."

"The server should have waited on you by now," he explained. "At least given you some coffee."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," she said not even having noticed. "They can be kinda slow here sometimes."

MKMKMK

Matt walked along on his way to the Long Branch, intending to see if Kitty wanted to have breakfast with him. He wouldn't blame her if she said no. He didn't mean to stand her up, but last night, just as he was about to lock the sleeping Chester in and go see Kitty, young Francis Neil had come riding in on her pa's horse, explaining that he had been shot by thieves. He quietly and quickly went about getting Buck and Doc and headed out. They didn't get back until nearly three that morning and the thieves were still on the loose. Matt decided that it would be safer if the family came into town until the men were caught. That way doc could keep a better eye on his patient.

He peeked inside as he was passing Delmonico's and stopped dead in his tracks. Kitty was sitting at a table with John Luff and laughing about something. The sight nearly made Matt's blood boil. And why did Kitty let him hang around her so much anyway? He stood there debating on whether or not to go in. He wanted to talk to her in private and Delmonico's probably wasn't the best place to do that anyway. He decided to let her finish her breakfast and he would catch up with her later. He would just go on over to Jonas's and pick up a few donuts for his own breakfast.

MKMKMK

If Matt wasn't going to come to her then, darn it, she was going to him. It was nearly five-thirty and now Kitty was just plain mad. He hadn't been to see her all day and the dance was only a few hours away. She pushed open the door to the jail and walked in to find it empty. Just her luck. She sat down at his desk, deciding to wait until he came back.

MKMKMK

Matt walked in twenty minutes later, surprised to see her in his chair. "Kitty, what are you doing here? What's wrong?" he asked as he took his hat off. Kitty stared at him stone faced.

"I'll tell you what's wrong. I gave my heart to you in the form of a key last night and you didn't do anything with it! Then I wait all day thinking that you'd come to me with some sort of understandable excuse and you don't, which leaves me thinking that you don't want me and that I've been a fool all this time and now I'm upset," she finished. By now she had stood from the desk and she was in his face and poking his chest. Matt stood there looking down at her, her jaw set and her mouth tight.

"You're beautiful when you're angry," he said softly as his face broke out into a grin. Kitty deflated, letting out a deep breath. Then she leaned into him and buried her face in his chest, the decoration of her hat brushing his face. "Kitty," Matt said gently, "I really do have an understandable excuse." She lifted her head from his chest and looked at him. Now, she was pouting.

"What is it?" she asked. Matt locked his hands around her waist to hold her in place.

"Someone got shot and I had to leave town last night. I didn't get back until early this morning and then every time I tried to get to you today something came up. Then I just came back here to wash up a little bit before I tried again and there you were sittin' at my desk," he explained. Kitty lowered her chin, feeling silly at all the things she'd said to him.

"Oh, I understand," she said quietly. Matt smiled and tilted her chin backup.

"Good." He leaned down and kissed her lips softly.

"I'm sorry," she said forlornly. "I should have given you a chance to explain before I said all that."

"Its okay, Kitty. You have a right to say what's on your mind. But, you've gotta know by now how much I want you. It about killed me when I realized I wasn't gonna be able to make it." Kitty smiled at his admission.

"Do you still want to go to the dance with me?" she asked.

"You're the _only_ one I wanna go to the dance with." He leaned down to kiss her again, this time slow and long. Kitty pulled away dreamily.

"I should go and get ready," she said. Matt only nodded his agreement as he loosened his hold on her. "Maybe…we could try again tonight…after the dance," she suggested shyly. He nodded his head again and leaned down to steal another kiss. If she couldn't see how much he wanted her, then she would _definitely_ be able to feel it. The kiss quickly began to spiral out of control until they heard footsteps on the boardwalk. Kitty pulled away breathless this time. "Okay, I have to go." He watched as she hurried out the door, flustered. He couldn't wait until tonight.

To be continued…


	4. Luff Revealed

**Gunsmoke:** _Never Wanna Live Without You_

Part 4

Later on, Matt stood in the mirror straightening his tie when the door came open and in walked his assistant. "Chester you're not even dressed yet," he said surprised.

"Oh, Mr. Dillon, I got half a mind not ta even go tonight," said a crabby Chester as he plopped down into a chair.

"Why on earth not?" Matt asked as he ran a hand through his hair. Before Chester could answer, a shot rang out on the street. Matt grabbed his hat and rushed out, with Chester right behind him.

"Marshal!" a man screamed, "Marshal, someone's robbed the general store! They went that away!" He pointed south out of town.

"Chester, go and get the horses. We're goin' after 'em. Anybody hurt?" Matt asked as he looked inside the broken general store windows. The cash register was tipped over and change was scattered about the countertop. The rest of the store was in order.

"No one hurt, Marshal. I took a shot at 'em but I missed."

"How many were there?"

"I counted three."

"Matt?" He turned around to see Kitty walking his way and at that moment, he hated his job more than ever. The dress she was wearing clung to her body and she wore a wrap that covered her pale shoulders. What he wouldn't give right then to be that dress.

"Kitty," he said as he walked up to her, "The general store's been robbed. I've gotta go after 'em before they get too far away. I'm afraid I won't be able to take you to the dance," he said frustrated. He brought his hands up to rest on her shoulders. "I think they could be the same ones who robbed the Neil's."

"It's alright, Matt," she said for what felt like the fiftieth time. Besides, he told her it might happen. She managed a smile for him, even though she was disappointed.

"Mr. Dillon!" Chester yelled from down by the stables.

"Kitty, I have to go. I promise I'll try and make it back before the night is through."

"You just go on…and be safe," she called as he ran off. She watched until they rode out of sight.

Now what? Kitty was very much looking forward to her first dance with Matt and now she wasn't sure if she wanted to go anymore. Chester was gone with him and Doc was busy looking after the injured Mr. Neil.

Somehow, earlier in the week, word had spread that she and Matt were going to the dance together. _A saloon girl going to a dance…it's downright despicable…what could the marshal be thinking…I hear she's from New Orleans…they know a lot about voodoo down their…she probably put a hex on him_. She'd heard it all and some of it was down right comical. She could deal with the gossip, but she wasn't sure she wanted to stand there and be talked about and pointed at all night. She knew that some of the other girls were going to the dance, but the fact that she had been keeping company with the marshal made their situation all the more _scandalous_.

"Kitty?" She turned around to see John. "Why are you standin' out here all alone? The dance has already started." He was dressed up nicely in a black suit.

"I was just gettin' ready to go home," Kitty said with a small smile.

"Surely, you don't wanna do that when you look so good in that dress. Don't you have a date for tonight?"

"I did. Something came up." Really, Kitty didn't want to go home, but she couldn't imagine having fun with anyone but Matt.

"Well, I'd be more than happy to take ya."

"Oh, that's alright, John. You don't have to."

"I know I don't _have_ to…I want to," he said looking into her eyes. Kitty thought she saw something in them and she didn't know why she never noticed before.

"Look, John, we can go as friends, but nothing more can come of it. I like you a lot. You've been a good friend to me over the past couple of weeks, but I'm sure you know that the marshal and I have been seeing each other," she tried to explain. His expression didn't change any.

"It's alright, Kitty. I understand. We'll go as friends and we'll have great time." He held out his arm to her and they went off to join the others at the stable.

When they arrived, Kitty immediately noticed the stares and the pointing, but she wasn't going to pay any attention to that tonight. She was going to dance with John and have a good time. The band was already playing music and there were a few brave couples out on the floor. "Shall we," John asked with a big smile. Kitty smiled back.

"We shall."

MKMKMK

"I can barely see a thing, Mr. Dillon," Chester said. The sun had set and it was nearly pitch black outside.

"I know, Chester, I know, but I've got a feeling that they're real close by," Matt said, his eyes straining to see as much as Chester's were. "Just a bit further and if we don't find anything, we'll come back out tomorrow morning and have another look."

"Yes, sir," Chester sighed. Matt wanted to go home as much as Chester did, but he knew they had a job to do. Kitty's face came to his mind and he couldn't help but think of how he had disappointed her once again.

MKMKMK

Kitty laughed and laughed as John twirled her around the dance floor. They were oblivious to the stares they were getting. "Oh, I can't take anymore," Kitty said breathing hard as the song came to an end.

"Let's go and get some punch," John suggested. Kitty allowed herself to be led over to the table where one of the ladies from the church was serving.

"Oh, I've had a wonderful time tonight," she said as she sipped on her drink.

"It sure would have been a shame if you had gone home earlier."

"Well, I'm glad I didn't. I can honestly say that my first Dodge City barn dance was a hit," she said smiling, even though she wished it would have been Matt to take her. She hoped that he and Chester were alright.

MKMKMK

"Chester," Matt called in a loud whisper. They had followed a hunch to an old abandoned cabin where they figured the thieves might hole up.

"What is it, Mr. Dillon?" Chester answered softly as he crept over to where Matt was.

"Did you see anything around back?"

"Yeah, I saw two men through the window walkin' around like they didn't have care in the world. They sure are dumb, Mr. Dillon. Did they really think we wouldn't be after 'em?"

"I don't know, Chester, but as long as they think they've gotten away with it then we have the advantage. We're gonna surround the cabin and take 'em by surprise." Matt checked his gun and then looked at Chester. "Ready?" he asked.

"Ready."

They crept up to the cabin, Matt at the front and Chester at the back. "Come out with your hands up," Matt yelled through a broken window. He saw a third man and they immediately scrambled and headed towards the back door. Matt kicked the front door in and pointed his gun. "Hold it!" he yelled. One of the men turned and aimed to shoot, but not before Matt put a bullet in his arm. The second man had dropped his gun in surrender and Chester held the last man at gunpoint.

MKMKMK

"You three sure are a coupl'a idiots," Chester said a while later when they were almost back to town. Matt smirked as he listened to him. "Didja really think we weren't gonna find ya?" None of them said anything. The lights and sounds from the stable could be seen and heard in the distance.

MKMKMK

"Why don't we go outside and get some air," John suggested after another dance.

"Alright," Kitty said. They made their way through the crowd and outside where it was much quieter aside from the groups of people here and there laughing and talking. They walked up the street a ways and Kitty saw Matt, Chester and three other men in the distance. "Oh, look. Matt must have caught the men who robbed the general store." She then looked over to see John's face go pale. "Are you alright?" she asked.

"Huh?" he asked. It was the first time she had ever seen him flustered. "Oh, I'm fine, Kitty. Why don't we go back inside and dance some more," he said as he placed his hand on her arm and began pulling her back to the barn.

"Wait, I want to talk to, Matt first," she said becoming suspicious of his behavior.

"Marshal, if we're goin' down then all of us are," said the man who had surrendered.

"What are you talking about?" Matt said.

"There's one more of us that you ain't caught yet. We couldn't've pulled this off without some sort of lookout."

"Oh, that's just like a thief. Rat out yer friends," Chester said disgusted.

"There's a big difference between bein' friends and bein' partners," said the man with the shot arm.

"Well then who is he?" Matt asked only caring about catching the forth man.

"His name's Luff, Marshal…John Luff."

"Look, Kitty, I just remembered somethin' that I gotta do," John said as the group got closer and closer.

"John…"

"Kitty!" she heard Matt yell her name from a few feet away. "Get away from him!" She turned around confused. John panicked as he saw the marshal dismount and make his way toward them. He grabbed Kitty from behind, his arm around her neck and his gun pointed into her side.

"You just back up, Marshal. I don't wanna hurt her, but I will." Kitty brought her hands up to his forearm in order to keep her balance.

Matt immediately stopped short when he saw John grab Kitty. "Just let her go. Don't make this situation any worse than it is," he said trying to talk some sense into him.

"You may as well give it up, Luff," yelled one of the detained men. "All they got us on is robbery. You just askin' to be hanged if you kill that broad."

"What the hell do you care?" John yelled back angry. "They wouldn't've even known who I was if you hadn't told 'em." His grip inadvertently tightened around her neck.

"John, please," Kitty whispered, breaking him from his anger. She felt him ease up ever so slightly. If she was right about what she had seen in his eyes earlier, then she knew that he wouldn't really hurt her. "Think about what you're doing."

"Just let her go, John and we can talk about this," Matt tried again. He watched as John slowly released his hold on Kitty, his gun hand falling to his side. He stepped forward and took it from him. Matt looked over to Kitty and then back to John. "Let's go," he said. John looked at Kitty with sad eyes and then started for the jail along with Chester and the others.

To be continued…


	5. The Unexpected

**Gunsmoke:** Never Wanna Live Without You

Part 5

Later that night, Kitty fell into bed exhausted. Matt hadn't come to find her, but she didn't expect him to either with a jail full of prisoners. She noticed something in the look that he had given her earlier. It was almost as if he was upset with her, but she couldn't imagine why. _And people say women are complicated_, she thought to herself.

She didn't even bother going back to the dance afterward. Things had gone from great to bad in a matter of minutes and she wasn't in the mood to be sociable any longer. The dance was still going on actually; she could hear it even. Just as she was about to doze off, she heard footsteps on the stairs. She could tell by the heaviness of them that they had to be Matt's. She laid there until she heard his fist on the door.

"Kitty?" he called softly. She rose from the bed and went to open it.

"Matt," she greeted and stepped aside so he could enter, "I didn't expect you here tonight," she said somewhat cautiously.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay," Matt said as he took his hat off. He glanced at her and then turned around to survey the room.

"I'm fine," she told him as she walked over to stand in front of him. "How's everything at the jail?"

"It's fine. The judge will be here in a couple of days and then I'll probably have to escort them to Hays," he explained. Kitty nodded. She continued to stare at him while he stared at his hat. She could hear the laughter and music in the distance; she could hear the clock ticking on the wall. Even on the first day she had ever talked to this man, there had never been such a lull in the conversation. Sure, they knew how to simply enjoy each other's presence, but she could feel the tension in the air and she didn't know why it was there.

"Matt, why all of a sudden, is it hard for us to talk to each other?" she asked as she crossed her arms over her chest. She could only remember one other time when he had acted this way and it was when she accepted a dinner invitation from a cowboy. It was sometime during the first month she came to Dodge. Of course, she would have rather it been him, but he wasn't acting very interested, so she had accepted. After that, he seemed to avoid her for days and when they got together for a drink, Chester always ended up doing most of the talking. A few weeks passed and she hadn't seen anymore of the cowboy or anyone else and then Matt seemed to get back to his old self.

Matt didn't say anything for a moment and then he blurted, "Kitty, I think maybe we oughta take things easy for a while." He still wouldn't look at her.

Kitty was definitely shocked, but she hid it well. A few hours ago, they could barely keep their hands off of each other and now he was breaking up with her? "So, you're dumping me? Just like that?" she said, allowing some of her anger to seep into her tone.

"Look, Kitty, things have been fun between us, but we were never really a couple to begin with were we? I never asked you to be my girl," he said callously.

"Matt, what is wrong with you?" she asked him as her brow furrowed.

"Nothing is wrong with me. I just don't think this is gonna work," Matt said gesturing vaguely. He turned away from her and walked toward the window. "I'm just too busy to be involved in any kind of relationship right now."

"And this just all of a sudden came to you after three months?" Kitty said as she followed him. She knew that there was more to this and she wasn't going to let him go that easily.

"Kitty, this has crossed my mind every day since then. I don't have time to court a woman. You know that as well as I do. How many dinners and dates have I had to cancel? And tonight even. I couldn't even take you to the dance."

"And have I ever given you the impression that I care about those things?" she countered. He didn't say anything. "Matt," she said gently, "Why are you doing this?" she placed her hand on his back and felt him relax some. "Is all this because of John?" She knew it was the wrong thing to say as soon as she said it. She felt his back tense up and he pulled away from her.

"This has nothing to do with him," Matt said shortly. "But now that you mention it, that's another thing. You're too trusting, Kitty and because of that you were almost hurt tonight. It's not safe for us to be together. Any nut on the street will use you against me and I can't have that on my conscience."

"John wouldn't have hurt me, Matt. I…"

"And how do you know that…because you know him so well, hm? You knew that he was an outlaw…a thief?" he said rather harshly. Kitty was having a hard time controlling her anger.

"So, let me get this straight then," she said crossing her arms over her chest again. Matt chanced a peek at her and saw that his words were starting to affect her. He did want to hurt her, but it was the only way he knew to keep her away from him. "You think I'm an idiot and you think I'm shallow," she said. Her breathing was certainly becoming shallow and it was taking almost everything in her not scream at this man.

"Kitty, I didn't say that," Matt tried to correct.

"Well, you may as well have!" she yelled. "It's obvious that I'm nothing but a hindrance to you…I just get in your way. Well, you won't have to worry about this girl gettin' in your way anymore," she said as the lid flew off of her anger. She walked over to the door and held it open. "As soon as you walk out this door you won't ever have to _voluntarily_ see my face again," she said, her voice shaking slightly.

Matt quietly walked over to the door. "Look, Kitty, it's nothing personal," he said feeling like a heel.

"Right," she said scornfully, "I've shared things with you that no one else in this world knows and I almost gave you my body, but hey…nothing personal." Matt finally looked at her full in the face and could see her eyes brimming with tears. He felt sick to his stomach. He placed his hat on his head and walked out.

_**Two weeks later…**_

The Dodge City sun had set long ago. Chester hobbled towards the jail after a couple hours of drinking and talking and opened the door to find Matt sitting at his desk doing paper work just as he had been when he left.

"Mr. Dillon, you sure have been workin' awful hard lately," he said.

"I always work hard," Matt said teasing the young man. Last week he had taken his prisoners to Hays and stayed for their trial. The three who had actually done the robbing were sentenced to four years in prison, while John was only sentenced to one year since he didn't take part in the actual crime.

"I know that, but what I mean is that I haven't seen you take a break at all during the last week except to eat maybe. You haven't even stopped by the Long Branch."

"Well, Chester, there's a lot of paperwork to be done. I can't let it get too backed up or I'll be out of a job." Chester sighed and took a seat at the table on the other side of the room. "Everything quiet out there?" Matt asked as he kept on writing.

"Oh, sure. Everything is nice and peaceful. The town seems to be in kind of a tranquil mood these days," Chester observed.

"You think so?" Matt said only half listening.

"I really do. Seems like the beginnin' of autumn just brings a calm over everythin'." They sat there for a while in silence with Chester thinking about bed and Matt trying to think about nothing. "Well, Mr. Dillon," the assistant said behind a yawn, "I think I'm gon' turn in fer the night."

"Alright, Chester. I'm gonna go and make my rounds. I'll be back in while."

**mkmk**

Matt walked through the darkened town slowly, checking locks and peeking in windows. The days and nights had steadily been getting cooler throughout the last couple of weeks and tonight Matt could really feel it. He pulled the collar of his jacket a little tighter and continued.

The music and laughter got louder as he walked on. He always saved the Long Branch for last when he did his rounds. Normally, it was so he could spend time with her at the end of what was usually a long day, but now it was just a habit. He hadn't stepped foot in the Long Branch since he got back from Hays and surprisingly there were no disturbances to call him in. He knew that he wouldn't be very welcome anyway. He approached slowly and stood just outside the double doors. There she stood looking as lovely as ever. She was leaning on the shoulder of some lucky cow poke talking and smiling, but Matt could tell that she wasn't the same vibrant Kitty and he knew it was his fault. He could see that her smile wasn't as bright as it used to be and he could swear that her shoulders were slightly slumped. Never had he felt like such a jerk. Suddenly, she looked up and straight into his eyes. He wanted so badly to go to her and ask her how she had been, how her day went, but he didn't have those privileges anymore. He turned and walked away before he couldn't stop himself.

Kitty's mood had gone from bad to worse the moment she saw him. She excused herself from the table and walked over to the bar. "Gimme a whiskey, Sam."

"Aye, Miss Kitty." He sat a tiny glass in front of her and filled it.

She thought that Matt Dillon was different from the other men in her life and it hurt to find out that she was so wrong.

She took a small sip of her drink.

The way he had spoken to her that night. He had never done it before. There had to be some reason as to why he would all of a sudden change his mind about her.

Making a decision, Kitty pushed the small glass away and went outside. She looked to her left and saw his retreating form. "Matt!" she yelled out as she quickly walked toward him.

"Kitty, what are you doing out here?" he said, trying his best to sound disinterested. He could see the chill bumps on her bare arms.

"I want a straight answer from you," she demanded. Matt looked at her like she was crazy. "I want you to tell me why you're acting this way. I don't believe what you told me the other night. I think you were just saying that to hide your feelings."

"Kitty, I don't know what to tell you. I meant everything I said. You and me just won't wor-"

"No! I know that I haven't known you that long, but in that little bit of time you've shown me the real you," she said as she stepped closer to him. A small wind blew and the sweet scent of her perfume floated up to his nose. "You've shown me a side of you that I doubt many people have seen. You're the most caring man I have ever known and I refuse to believe that you were just pretending all this time," she said stepping even closer. She placed her hands on his chest and looked into his eyes. Matt's breathing became shallow at the feel of her pressed against him.

"Kitty, it's cold out here. You should be inside," he said unconvincingly. She wasn't falling for it. She pulled at the lapels of his coat and brought his face down to her level. Matt was helpless. Her soft lips were kissing his before he knew it. His hands went around her small waist of their own accord and pulled her closer. His tongue roughly pushed passed her lips and he could taste the whiskey she'd had earlier. The woman was intoxicating. Neither knew how long they had been standing there before the need to breathe became mandatory. Matt was the first to pull away. "Kitty, no," he said softly. "This doesn't change anything."

"Why are you doing this?" she said as she lightly tugged on his coat. "Why won't you tell me what's wrong? Tell me what I did!"

"Kitty, I told you," Matt said as he pried her hands from him. "It's nothing personal. I don't have time to spend with you and you'd just be in the way besides. I have a job to do and this job and a relationship just won't work," he said, finally regaining control of his emotions. "I gave it a shot, but it _just-didn't-work_," he said stressing the words. Kitty dropped her hands to her sides and simply stood looking at him. Matt knew that this time his words would stick with her. "Maybe I'm not as sweet and caring as you thought I was." With that, he turned and walked away leaving Kitty standing there in the cold.

To be continued…


	6. Goodbye, Kitty

**Gunsmoke:** _Never Wanna Live Without You_

Part 6

_**Three days later…**_

Pulling on her gloves and grabbing her parasol, Kitty walked downstairs and through the batwing doors. As she made her way to Delmonico's, the chilly wind stung her eyes and made them water, but they could have just as easily been real tears. She entered the restaurant and took a seat at the back wall. Joe came over with a pot of coffee and took her order of grits and toast. She didn't really have an appetite for anything, but she knew she had to eat something. Joe came back quickly with her food and she mechanically set about eating it. She had just taken a bite of her grits when she heard heavy footsteps near the entrance. It was Matt, and suddenly her appetite left her completely.

It reminded her of the first day she came to Dodge. The weather was murky and gloomy and she had come into Delmonico's for a quick bite of food before getting back on the stage. Then he walked in and it didn't seem so bad anymore. It was ironic how all of that had changed. Even though it was cold, it was beautiful and sunny out, but it may as well have been that gloomy first day all over again, sans the big, handsome Marshal. His eye caught hers and she looked back to her food.

"Good morning, Marshal," she heard Joe say.

"Morinin', Joe."

"What'll you have today?"

"The usual, thanks." He didn't seem too distraught over their breakup. Kitty guessed that she really was a fool to think he would be different. She pushed her plate away and stood to leave.

Matt closed his eyes as she passed him. He'd never been more taken with a woman than he was Kitty Russell, but he knew that if he allowed their relationship to continue that she would get hurt or worse. Maybe they couldn't be together, but at least he would still be able to keep an eye on her from a distance.

She was right that night in thinking that his change of heart had something to do with John. It had everything to do with John, what he stood for so to speak. Ever since the man had come to town, he was able to be there for Kitty when Matt wasn't. John carried her packages and walked her here and there and made sure she had someone to keep her company during meals. Those were all of the things that a man was supposed to do for his woman, but Matt couldn't even see to those simple tasks. And then when John had threatened her life…he knew right then that he couldn't be with her and protect her at the same time. Her safety was more important than his feelings for her.

**mkmk**

Later that night, Matt and Chester walked along the boardwalk. Chester must have been right about the fall making everyone placid because so far it had been a very uneventful week, not even any fights in the saloons.

"You reckon it'll be a colder than normal winter, Mr. Dillon?"

"I don't know, Chester. It did get cold a little early this year," he mulled. They continued on in silence for a few moments.

"Ya know, Mr. Dillon, I haven't seen too much of Miss Kitty lately."

"She's probably just busy," Matt said hoping that the young man would drop the subject. Fat chance.

"Well, doin' what fer heaven's sake?" he asked. "Every time I go into the Long Branch she ain't there and when she is she acts like she ain't got time to talk to me." Matt realized that Chester was just feeling shunned more than anything. "Maybe you should talk to her and make sure everythin' is alright," he suggested.

"Kitty is a grown woman, Chester. She has a right to her privacy." As far as Matt knew, Chester didn't know that there was anything more than friendship between him and Kitty. Doc was the only one that he suspected knew something. They weren't hiding, but they weren't announcing it around town either.

"I know that, but she oughta come to us if somethin' is wrong." Matt didn't say anything. He felt bad about what happened between him and Kitty as it was and he didn't want to hear Chester inadvertently reminding him of just how badly he had hurt her.

They were just a few yards away from the Long Branch when they heard shouting. Matt ran ahead with Chester bringing up the rear. He stopped just outside the doors and looked inside to see everyone at a standstill. He felt his stomach drop when he saw Kitty in the clutch of a man with a broken bottle to her neck. The stranger looked over and saw him looming in the doorway.

"I know who you are, Marshal," the crazed man yelled. He was obviously full of liquor and he was sweating profusely. "You just stay back," he ordered and tightened his grip on Kitty. Matt raised his hands in surrender and slowly pushed through the doors.

"Just take it easy, mister. Why don't you let her go and we can talk about this?" he tried to negotiate as he eased closer. He could see the fright in Kitty's eyes as the man pressed the jagged edge of the bottle harder against her neck.

"You know, she thinks she's too good for me, too good to have a drink with me, talk to me…" he was becoming angrier by the second and Matt could see a trickle of blood fall down Kitty's neck. He had to do something fast.

"Look, mister, there's no way outta here for you…and if you hurt her then I'll kill you…and if you kill her, I'll kill you," Matt threatened. His hand slowly went to his gun to show the stranger that he was serious. "If you let her go then I'll promise to let you walk out of here free and clear." The stranger squinted his eyes in disbelief.

"Free and clear, Marshal?" he asked suspiciously. Matt nodded his head once and took a few steps back to give him some room. The man loosened his hold on Kitty some, but kept her in his grip as he slowly started for the door.

"No," Matt said before he could get too far, "You let her go _first_ or I'll drop you where you stand." The man's eyes darted around the room as he considered the Marshal's words. Surely, a man of the law wouldn't go back on his word. Slowly, he lessened his grip on Kitty and backed up towards the doors.

"You gotta keep your word, Marshal. I'm walkin' outta here free and clear," he said holding the bottle out in front of him still. Satisfied that Kitty was safe, Matt nodded his reassurance. The man turned around quickly to run, but he didn't step foot outside before a shot was fired into the back of his leg. Chester and a few men ran over to subdue him.

"Who fired that shot?" Matt yelled as his eyes scanned the room.

"I did, Marshal," said Jim Kames boldly. He was an older man who was born in a time where people took care of their own problems instead of depending on the law. "There's no way he could be allowed to leave here Scott free."

"Did you really think I was gonna let him go out and terrorize anybody else?" Matt said angry. He liked to take care of the law using as little violence as he could. Kames just stared as he put his gun away. "A couple of you men get him up to Doc's," Matt ordered as he turned around, "And Chester, you go with them and make sure he doesn't try anything," he said handing Chester his gun.

"Yes, sir."

Matt turned around to check on Kitty only to find that she was nowhere in sight. His eyes scanned the room, but he couldn't find her. "Sam, where'd, Kitty go?" Matt asked walking over to the bar.

"I saw her go into the office, Marshal."

"Thanks." He walked into the office and found it empty. He looked around and noticed that the back door was partly open. "Kitty?" he called as he stepped through it. The ally was full of empty crates and barrels full of empty bottles. "Kitty, are you out here?" he called again. He listened carefully and heard a rustling a few feet away. "Kitty?" He walked further down the ally and finally spotted her sitting on an overturned box. "Are you alright?" he asked as he bent down next to her. He placed his hands on her arms only to find that she was freezing.

"I'm fine, Matt. I just want to be left alone," she told him in a surprisingly calm voice, but he wasn't hearing her. He lifted her chin and inspected the tiny cut at the base of her throat. It made him angry that the man had hurt her.

"Who was he?" he asked tight lipped.

"Who knows," Kitty shrugged as she pulled her face away from his hand. "Some drunk who thinks he can do whatever he wants and get away with it," she said as she stood from the box and walked away. Matt stood, too and followed her.

"Kitty, I think you need to go and see, Doc. Make sure you're alright."

"I told you I was fine!" she said angry. Why was he acting so concerned anyway?

"Kitty…" he said grabbing her arm.

"Let me go! I don't have anything to say to you. Not now or ever again," she said yanking away. Matt saw her watery eyes glistening in the moonlight and it hurt like hell to know that he was the cause of them. He watched as she stormed up the ally and into the back doorway, slamming it shut behind her.

_**Two days later…**_

The door burst open and in limped Chester out of breath. "Mr. Dillon, I just came from the stage office. Did you know that, Miss Kitty was leavin'?" he asked in a panic that Matt felt down to his toes.

"What do you mean leaving? Did she tell you she was leaving?" he asked as he dropped his pencil and stood from the desk.

"Well, she had nearly every thing she owned with her."

"Did you talk to her?"

"Well…no…I saw the driver loadin' her things and I ran down here to get you," Chester explained. Matt walked over to the door and grabbed his hat off the hook. He took no more than two steps out the door before he heard the stagecoach roaring passed his office. Kitty was the only passenger on it and he saw her as plain as day through the window. She stared at him without an emotion on her face and he stood watching as she road out of his life.

"Ain't ya gonna go after her, Mr. Dillon?"

_**mkmk**_

"She what!" bellowed Doc as he stood from his chair and whipped the specs off his face.

"I'm tellin' ya, Doc. She got on that stage without a word ta anybody and Mr. Dillon didn't do a thing ta try and stop her." Doc had been out of the loop as of late concerning the goings on of the town. It seemed like there was a nonstop flow of patients for the last month and by the time he did get a break, he was too tired to do anything but sleep and he had obviously missed a lot because of it.

"Why on earth would he up and let her just leave like that?" He had always suspected they were more than friends, but maybe he was wrong.

_**mkmk**_

"Doc, Kitty is a grown woman. She can do whatever she wants," Matt said. It was becoming his mantra. And he was getting tired of people acting like he was her keeper.

"So, you have no idea why she left?" the old man interrogated. Matt rolled his eyes and slammed his pen down on the desk.

"Look, I don't keep tabs on Kitty Russell. Maybe she just decided that it was time to move on." It was bad enough that she left on the terms she did and Chester's, now Doc's, constant badgering didn't help any. And he wasn't going to tell them anything more because it was no one's business but his and hers.

"I thought you two were gettin' kinda close," Doc said confused. Matt didn't say anything and Doc looked at him suspiciously. "If you've done anything to hurt that girl…" Matt still said nothing. Doc squinted his eyes and then left the office.

To be continued…


	7. Jefferson City

**Gunsmoke:** _Never Wanna Live Without You_

Part 7

_**Three months later…**_

It was beyond freezing outside and the tiny stove in the jailhouse was working hard to keep the rooms warm. The window in the first cell had been blocked off and some old rags were stuffed at the foot of the back door to keep the draft and snow out. It was eight o'clock at night and Matt sat at his desk bored out of his mind. The one good thing about a Dodge City winter was that the crime rate dropped dramatically. But no outlaws made Matt a dull boy.

Chester was on the other side of the room snoring softly on one of the cots. For once there was no paper work. The office was clean. He had already had three cups of coffee. The firewood was stocked. The wanted posters were alphabetized. It was too cold to go for a drink. The only thing left to do was think and he didn't really want to do that because he couldn't keep his thoughts from straying to certain things, more like a certain person.

It had been a complete shock when Kitty left those months ago. It shouldn't have been, but it was. A part of him always wondered if she had simply gone on a trip, but as each day, week, and then month passed, he knew that she wasn't returning. It was a good thing though. She was gone and safe somewhere; away from the crime ridden city of Dodge. He was certain that she was much better off.

Doc still wasn't talking to him unless he absolutely had to. He knew the old man could hold a grudge, but this was ridiculous. He was still convinced that it had been Matt's fault that she left and he was right, but he didn't know he was right, so he had no right to take it all out on Matt.

Yes, he did.

Matt knew it was his fault, but what was done was done and maybe because of it Kitty would lead a long and healthy life. That was more important than anything in his mind, but it still didn't stop him from missing her.

**mkmk**

"St. Louis?" Chester said with a furrowed brow.

"Yep," Matt said as he sat his gear on the desk.

"In this weather?"

"Yep. My presence has been requested by the United States Government," he repeated from the letter. "I guess I don't have much choice." Chester picked up the letter and scanned it. "You think you'll be able to handle things while I'm gone?" Matt asked.

"Well, sure, Mr. Dillon. It should be easy goin'. How long do you think you'll be gone for?"

"Well, the stage leaves in a few hours and it'll probably be slow goin' in this weather. I'll send a telegram as soon as I can." He moved his bags to the table and then grabbed his coat. "I'm gonna go and have somethin' to eat, Chester. I'll be back later."

**mkmk**

A bundled up Doc opened the door of Delmonico's to find that just about everyone in town had the same idea he did. All of the tables were full.

"Shut the door, Doc. You're lettin' all the cold air in," griped a familiar voice from the table he was standing next to. It was Matt. He hadn't even seen him, and there was an empty seat at his table. He was still upset with him, but he wasn't about to go back out into the cold without at least having something hot to eat first. Still having not said anything, he walked the few steps to the seat and plopped down in it.

Matt simply watched and took a bite of his potatoes and gravy. "Still not speakin' to me huh, Doc?"

"Do you have any idea where she went?" the doctor asked. He had been wondering about that lately. Matt sighed inwardly.

"No," he lied. He had gone to the stage depot to find out nearly as soon as Doc had left his office that day. It was crazy really. He hadn't done that when Leona left and he had been with her a lot longer than he had Kitty.

A waiter came over and took Doc's order. He decided he would let his anger go for the time being. "You goin' out to the Peterson's tomorrow?" he asked. Someone had been stealing their horses one at a time over the last few weeks and Matt still had yet to figure out who it was.

"Can't," he said around a mouth full of bread. "I'll be on the stage on my way to St. Louis in a few hours." He forgot about the Petersons. Chester would have to go in his place.

"St. Louis? What in the world are you goin' there for?"

"Some sort of conference."

"In the middle of winter?"

"I guess the business of the U.S. Government doesn't wait for good weather," Matt said shrugging. He wasn't too keen on traveling in this cold either, but at the same time a part of him was glad to get away from Dodge for a while.

"I suppose Chester's gonna be in charge until you get back," Doc said as the waiter sat his steaming plate in front of him.

"Yep."

Doc huffed. "Well you make sure and hurry back before we all end up dead."

**mkmk**

There was practically a whiteout when the stage reached Jefferson City. Matt and the other two passengers had been on the stage for nearly seven days and the further east they went the worse the weather got. Matt peeked out from behind the window flap as they pulled up next to a hotel. He wrapped his scarf tightly around his head and pulled his hat down low. He waited until the other two men got out and then followed. He caught his bag from the driver and quickly walked inside. The other two men headed in a different direction.

This hotel was a little fancier than the Dodge House. Matt shook the snow off of his hat and took a look around at the tall windows and heavy burgundy curtains. The check-in counter was directly across from the entrance and there was a set of stairs on either side of it with a balcony connecting them on the second floor. To his left there was a small area that appeared to be a miniature bar of sorts if the two shelves of alcohol behind it were any indication.

After the survey of his surroundings, Matt walked over to the desk where the clerk was sound asleep. It _was_ nearly three in the morning. The stage would be leaving out again at ten that morning if the weather permitted. Matt cleared his throat loudly and the man snapped awake. "Can I help you, sir?" he said sleepily with an English accent.

"I need a room."

"Yes, of course." The clerk grabbed a key with a tag that read number six. "Sign here," he pointed. Matt did so and took the key. As soon as he locked the door behind himself, he walked over to the bed, tossed his hat and bag on one side and collapsed on the other, boots, coat and all. He was too tired to even light a fire.

**mkmk**

A few hours later, he awoke to the sound of voices downstairs. He lifted his tired body from the bed, stretching and yawning like a bear. He could see his breath in the air. Scratching at his beard, he walked over to the window to see what damage had been done by the snow. He squinted his eyes against the bright sun glaring off of what he guessed to be about a foot and a half of snow. He looked around the room for a clock and finding one he saw that it was only eight-thirty. Plenty of time for breakfast.

Matt looked back out the window and saw people trudging through the white mess. It was going to be interesting to see how far the stage got in it. He let the curtain fall and walked to the bed to retrieve his hat and bag. Breakfast was calling.

Matt checked out of the hotel after finding out where the nearest café was. As he walked along the cleared off boardwalk, he looked out to see a woman, he could tell by her stature, plodding across the street in the opposite direction of him. She took about a five second break after every step. A thick black cape covered her from head to toe, protecting against the biting wind, and she had a bag in each hand. Every so often, he would catch a glimpse of the midnight blue color of her dress when the wind blew the cape away.

"'Scuse me," a man said as he breezed passed Matt. He hadn't even realized that he had stopped in the middle of the walkway to watch this mysterious woman. His gaze turned to the man that walked passed and by the time he turned back to the woman, she was just making it to the other side. She then walked over to the stage office. Matt turned around and continued on to breakfast.

To be continued…


	8. Relay Station

**Gunsmoke**:_ Never Wanna Live Without You_

Part 8

"How do you think we'll hold up, out there Paul?" Matt asked later as the drivers loaded up baggage and cargo. Paul and his partner Jeff had been taking runs out of Dodge for a few years now.

"Well, Marshal, I've been through worse. It won't be easy, but we'll make it," he reassured. Matt nodded and walked around to get on the stage. So far, he had seen two new passengers, a woman seated next to him and an older man on the other side of her. The two men from before were seated on the bench across from them. He was glad no one sat directly across from him, leaving some space for him to stretch his legs.

**mkmk**

"Damn it," she cursed softly under her breath. Snow had gotten in her boots and it was terribly uncomfortable. It was hard enough trekking through the snow as it was, and the bags she was carrying didn't make it any easier. She squinted across the street to see the driver talking to the people already on the stage through the window. She tried stepping in previously made tracks to quicken her pace. "Driver," she yelled trying to catch his attention before she got left. The man turned around and immediately hurried over to her as best he could in the deep snow.

"You gettin' on the stage bound for St. Louis, ma'am?" Paul asked taking her bags from her and grabbing her elbow to try and keep her steady.

"I sure am," she told him thankful for his help.

"A few minutes later and you would have missed us," he said as they approached the front of the stage. He didn't think he had ever seen a finer looking woman. "It would have been a shame if a beautiful woman like you had gotten stranded," he flirted. She smiled sweetly at him and pulled her ticket from the pocket of her cape.

"There's still room for me isn't there?"

"Sure is. We got exactly one seat left." He tossed her bags up to his partner and then turned to assist her inside the stage.

**mkmk**

Everyone inside sat quietly, listening to the mumble of voices outside. They were more than ready to start the trip. Matt sat up in his seat as the stagecoach door came open practically blinding everyone inside. He strained to see through the brightness as someone prepared to get in. So much for his leg room. The first thing to hit his senses was the scent of her perfume. It was forever imbedded into his brain. He blinked rapidly against the light, trying to catch a glimpse of the new passenger.

**mkmk**

She could barely make out anything inside of the stage due to the snow blindness. She grabbed her cape and skirts in one hand and pulled herself up into the stage with the other. She plopped down onto the empty seat and quickly situated herself as her vision cleared.

Matt's mouth fell open slightly when he finally saw her. "Kitty?" he asked not sure if he was _really_ seeing her.

Her head snapped up at the sound of his voice. "Matt?" He was the last person she ever expected to see.

Before either of them could say anything else, the driver hollered out and the stage was in motion, jerking all of the passengers in their seats. Their eyes locked and held with a silent understanding that it wasn't the time or the place, especially with so many ears around. As far as Kitty was concerned, they didn't have too much to say to one another anyway. She looked around at the others who were trying to pretend like they weren't interested in the brief exchange.

There wasn't much she could do with her eyes. She wanted to look out the window, but it was too cold to put the flap up. Her gaze wandered discretely over to the young woman sitting rather close to Matt. One would think they were an item she was sitting so close. The older man next to the woman was already dozing and the two men next to Kitty, one blonde and one brunette, were having a quiet conversation. She was trying her hardest not to make eye contact with Matt.

He, on the other hand, couldn't keep his eyes off of her. There wasn't ever a time where he couldn't remember being drawn to her and now was no different. _So you were the mysterious woman trudging across the street?_ he thought to himself. Now, he knew why he was so interested in her. There had to be at least three other women crossing that same street, but he had paid no attention to them. What was she doing in Jefferson City? When he had checked her ticket stub those months ago, it had said that her final destination was San Francisco. They were an awful long ways from California right now. There were a million questions that he wanted to ask her, but he knew that he wasn't privy to her business anymore. He figured she didn't want to talk to him anyway considering the way she avoided his eyes. But how could he blame her?

Kitty couldn't believe it. As soon as she saw him, her instincts told her to get off of the stage and wait for another one, but with the unpredictable weather, there was no telling when another storm would hit or when the next stage would head out. It was sure to be an awkward trip though. Except for the two men beside her who only talked to each other, no one seemed to be very conversational. What was Matt doing all the way in Jefferson City anyway? It was a long way from Dodge and as far as she knew Dodge City had a hold on him like no friend, woman, or family ever had or would. It was an unkind thing to think, but she would be lying if she said that she had completely forgiven him. She knew from first hand experience that nothing could compete with his job, and she hadn't been trying to really. Matt was a lawman and she loved Matt; therefore she loved Matt the lawman.

The only thing to do was sleep, so Kitty closed her eyes and prayed that it be a quick trip.

**mkmk**

Two hours passed before she woke up to the sound of a shrill voice.

"…and daddy usually never lets me travel alone, but I told him that I was more than capable of taking care of myself." Kitty cracked her eyes open and looked at Matt who was trying his darndest to be polite and listen as the bubbly woman chattered on and on. A hint of a smile formed on her lips. Every time the young woman said something, she would place a hand on Matt's thigh. Her smile grew wider as she noticed him inching his leg in closer and closer, further away from the touchy hands. The stage was cramped as it was, but anyone sitting across from the huge marshal would be even more confined. Kitty's legs were already tightly closed and Matt's legs were practically encasing them. She looked at the empty spot next to the woman and saw the older gentleman had disappeared. They must have made a stop while she was sleeping.

Matt wished the woman would be quiet and stop touching him. He steadily moved his knee in and his eyes shot over to Kitty as he accidentally bumped her. He watched her beautiful face for a moment as she slept. As he was about to turn his attention back to the woman, he noticed a small sparkle beneath her eyelashes. She had been awake the whole time. He gave her a lopsided smile and she winked at him. Maybe she didn't hate him after all.

"…so now I'm headed to Virginia to be with my aunt and cousin." She had just given Matt and the other passengers her life story, but he had only heard a few sentences of it. "I'm Ginger," she said as she held out a gloved hand to him.

"Matt," he said taking the hand. It was going to be a long trip.

**mkmk**

"Whoa!" the driver yelled. Matt woke up to the sound and quickly lifted the flap on his window. They were pulling up to a relay station. The sun was gone and it had begun to snow again. He looked over to see that Kitty was still sleeping despite all of the noise. By this time, everyone else had begun piling out, happy to be able to stretch their legs.

"Howdy, folks!" he heard who he assumed was the relay manager call from outside.

"Kitty?" he called softly. No response. He reached a hand out to her face, his thumb gently caressing her cool cheek. He wanted more than anything to lean in further and wake her up like he used to.

_It was a beautiful summer afternoon and they had taken advantage of the quiet day in Dodge. A small lunch was packed and a short ride found them at the river's edge where they waded in the water before finally relaxing under a tree. _

_The sound of a bird screeching woke Matt._ _He turned his head the side to see Kitty still sleeping peacefully beside him on her back. He situated the rest of his body until he was propped up by an elbow and looking down at her. His free hand went to her stomach where it rubbed lightly and then leisurely trailed a path down to her hip. She moaned softly, but still didn't wake. He leaned down slowly until his face was a hair's breath away from hers. His hand came up from where it had continued caressing her hip to rest gently on her face. He closed the distance between them and took her mouth in a warm kiss. Soon, he felt her respond and he intensified the kiss, his tongue gently pushing past her lips to play. He pulled away slowly and rested his forehead against hers._

"_How did you know it was me?" he teased. Kitty smiled slyly and leaned in for another kiss. _

"_I'd know your touch anywhere," she told him. "Your kiss is on my soul."_

Kitty turned her face into the comforting hand that was so familiar to her. Her eyes fluttered open to see Matt's face close to her own.

"Kitty," he said softly, "It's time to get off the stage. We're at a relay station in Washington." His hand reluctantly dropped from her face and he moved to get off the stage. Once he was out, he turned around to help her down, but not before Paul beat him to it. He stood watching them as Kitty carefully stepped down into the thick snow. Paul hurried to get her bags and was quickly back at her side. Matt picked up his own bag and turned around to go inside. Paul had a look on his face that he had seen plenty of times before.

The other passengers had already taken up seats by the fire located on the far side of the room. There was a long, wooden bench in front of the hearth and a few feet away sat a table. To the left was a counter and to the right were three doors. Ginger turned from the fire and spotted him, hurrying over with a cup. "I saved some coffee for you, Matt. It was the last of it," she said smiling up at him.

"Thanks," he said taking the cup.

"There's room over hear next to me," she said sweetly. Even though he didn't want to, Matt politely followed her over and took up the warm seat. "It's getting pretty bad out. Do you think we'll be stuck here?" she asked.

"I don't know." Matt turned around at the sound of the door opening. Kitty walked in with her two bags and placed them by the door with everyone else's. She looked like royalty in her cape. She pushed the hood of it back and unfastened the hat from her head, exposing her lustrous red hair. Matt looked over to see the two younger men from the stage watching her. They still had yet to introduce themselves. He turned back to her as she pulled her gloves off with her teeth and walked closer to the fire. All of the good seats had been taken. She walked over to the pot bellied stove and shook the empty coffee pot with a sigh. No one had bothered putting more on. Matt stood and went over to her. "Here you go," he said handing her his cup. Ginger watched them with an annoyed look on her face. She had saved that coffee for Matt, _not_ that _woman_.

Kitty stared at him for a moment. "Thank you," she said finally, gratefully taking the warm cup. She wouldn't have taken it if she hadn't been so cold. Matt watched as her chin quivered. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, but he didn't dare. He stood there for a moment, not sure if he should try and have a conversation with her or not.

"Kitty, how have you been?" he asked, taking a chance. She glanced up at him and then stared into the dark, steaming liquid.

"I've been fine, Matt. How have you been?"

"Alright, I guess," he answered. They stood there for a few minutes in silence.

"And Doc and Chester?" she inquired.

"They've been fine. They miss you." Kitty nodded, wishing she would have said goodbye to them. "Look, Kitty," he began in a quiet voice, "I know that the last time we saw each other wasn't on the best terms." Neither noticed Ginger straining to hear what they were saying. "But I just want you to know that I never wanted to hurt you," he apologized.

Kitty didn't really know what to say to that. When she left Dodge she had been angry at him, but three months was a long time to hold a grudge and she liked to think that she had gotten past it, even if it was still painful sometimes. "It's alright, Matt. I guess you could say that I've come to realize that you were right. We just wouldn't have worked together," she lied. That wasn't an easy thing for her to say. She ran a finger around the rim of the cup. "Where are you headed?" she asked, quickly changing the subject.

"I've got some business in St. Louis," he answered, relieved that she was talking to him. "You?"

"I'm traveling to visit a friend," she said, not revealing whether her final stop was in St. Louis or not. Matt noticed. He wanted to ask her why she wasn't in California, but he didn't want her to know he had been checking up on her. She took a sip of her coffee. "Do you think we'll get stuck here?" she asked, unknowingly repeating Ginger's question from earlier. Ginger heard, irritated that Matt gave her more of an answer.

"I think we might," he said glancing out the window. "The snow is getting worse. I think I'm gonna go out and see what's keeping them." Kitty nodded as he headed toward the door.

To be continued…


	9. Ben and Jace

**Gunsmoke:** _Never Wanna Live Without You_

Part 9

A few minutes later, Matt, Paul, the other driver named Jeff, and the relay clerk walked in with a dusting of snow. "Looks like you folks are gonna be here for a while," said the disheveled looking man. He hung his hat and coat on the hook and walked over to the fireplace to warm his hands. "I got some beans and bacon, but that's about it. Coffee's gettin' kinda low, too. Ain't been able to get to town in this weather for more supplies," he said talking to no one in particular. Kitty stood from her seat.

"Well, mister, you tell me where everything is and I'll see about heatin' up the beans," she offered. It was the least she could do since he was offering them something hot to eat.

"I don't mind fryin' some bacon," Paul said standing as well. He looked over to Kitty and smiled. Matt rolled his eyes at the man's attempt to impress her.

"Well, good, good!" said the clerk smiling. "I'll just git ya set up." Everyone watched as he scurried off behind one of the doors, coming back a few minutes later with the rations.

**mkmk**

An hour later, everything had been cooked and placed on the table; beans, bacon, biscuits, and the last of the coffee. Kitty sat picking at her food while listening to Ginger try and win Matt's affections.

"Ain't you hungry?" asked Paul from beside her. His jaw was packed with a mouthful of bread.

"Hmm?" she said looking over at him. "Oh. I guess I'm not," she said even though she bit off a piece of bacon.

"So, where are you from?"

"New Orleans," she answered.

"_New Orleans_," he said as if he was tasting the word. He always imagined that the woman of his dreams would be from the south. Some genteel belle who he could take care of. "I've heard its some fancy town." Kitty shrugged.

"That's true I suppose."

"You don't like it there?"

"No, no," Kitty assured him, "I liked it just fine. I guess a part of me just grew beyond it. I wanted to travel and see different places. I guess I always figured that there was more to life than fancy shops and debutant balls," she explained.

"Well, you're right about that," Paul smiled. Kitty looked over at him with a small smile of her own.

"I take it you've been around?" she said.

"I've been to my fair share of places." He took a swallow of his coffee. "There's not much that can compare to a sunrise out on the prairie or the sight of wild horses running just feet from the stage. It's an awesome sight, Lady." He winked at her. Kitty smiled and turned back to her plate.

Matt was half listening to Ginger as he watched Paul and Kitty at the other end of the table. He hadn't known Paul for very long, but he knew when a man was interested a woman.

"…thinking maybe you could show me around when we arrive in St. Louis."

"Huh?" Matt said almost choking on his food. He took a drink of coffee to clear his throat. "Look, Ginger, I think you're a nice girl, but I'm not interested." He grabbed up his plate and walked away. He knew that he wasn't using much tact in the situation, but he had other things on his mind and not one of them was the spoiled young woman.

**mkmk**

"I got a few bottles if you folks is interested," offered the relay manager. He had told everyone earlier to call him J.R. Dinner was finished and everyone was pretty much sitting around bored. Paul and Jeff had gone back out to check on the horses as the weather picked up. Ginger sat by the fire primly and Kitty was still at the table along with the two nameless men.

"We'll take some of that, old man," said one of 'the two' as Matt had dubbed them. J.R. happily went to retrieve the bottles and some glasses. It had been a while since anyone had to stay at the station over night and he was glad for the company.

"I don't really got no place for all you folks to sleep 'cept out here on the floor. I got a few blankets. You might have to share," he said placing the whiskey and glasses on the table. "I got me a small cot in back, but the floor might be some better," he said chuckling at his own joke. "And there's a washroom through that middle door." He shuffled off to fiddle with something behind the counter.

**mkmk**

Later on, Kitty sat trying to play a game of solitary. The two men had been drinking heavily and they were already started on the second bottle.

"Ha! You couldn't be beat me in arm wrestlin' even if my arm was broke!" bragged the blonde haired man. He threw a shot back, some of it dribbling down his face, and proceeded to burst out laughing. They were steadily getting louder and clumsier. Kitty already had to straighten her cards three times.

"I can beat you wrastlin' with just my itty bitty pinky! Hahaha!" the brunette bellowed. Before they were quiet and kept to themselves, but apparently it only took a little bit of whiskey for their true colors to really start showing. He slapped his hand down on the table, jostling her cards once again. Her hand stopped in mid play.

"Do you two mind?" she said tight lipped. The men's laughter slowly died down and they looked over at her red-eyed. The blonde man picked up a few of the cards and whipped them across the room. Kitty stood up and put a hand on her hip, the rest of the deck still in her other hand.

"And just what are you gonna do about it?" he snarled up at her. Matt, who had been watching the whole thing play out from his seat at the other end of the table, quickly stood to stand beside her.

"She won't have to do anything 'cause I'll take care of you myself," he said in a calm, threatening voice. He wasn't sure if anyone besides Kitty or the drivers knew he was a marshal, but it probably didn't matter anyway. The men were so full of liquid bravery that they would most likely try something regardless.

"Aw, come on, big man," began the blonde smiling, "We was just havin' a little fun." Matt watched him carefully as he stood and slowly turned away from them, blocking his holster from view.

"Don't even try it, mister," Matt warned in a deadly tone. His eyes darted over to the brunette as he slowly placed both of his hands on the table. The blonde man turned his head back to face Matt.

"And just who the hell are you?" he sneered. Matt stared him down and then slowly moved away from Kitty.

"I'm the man that's gonna kill you if you pull that gun." Everyone stayed silent, waiting to see if the man would be a fool.

"Don't do it, Jace!" blurted the man's partner. "That cheap bitch ain't even worth it," he said with a wave of his hand. Jace looked over to him, a crazy grin spreading across his face.

"You got that right, Ben," he said, his body relaxing. He grabbed the half empty bottle off of the table and took a healthy swig. "I ain't fixin' get killed over no broad." Matt glanced over to Kitty who was still fuming. Just then, Ben grabbed one of the empty glasses and threw it across the room where it crashed into the wall near Ginger's head. She let out a painful scream as a shard ricocheted and stuck into her hand. Kitty and the clerk ran over to check on her, while Matt marched over and grabbed the man by his scruff.

Before Ben knew it, the big man had grabbed his gun out of its holster. "Hey, you got no right to take my gun!"

"Well, I took it!" Matt said as he nearly drug the man over to the door. He opened it to the thick falling snow.

"What are you doin', man?" Ben yelled.

"What are you doin'? You can't put him out in the cold like that!" screamed Jace coming to his partner's defense. He stomped over just as Matt shoved Ben out the door.

"I can and I did," said Matt. He grabbed Jace's gun, too. "You're goin' with him."

"This ain't right! You got no right!" Jace hollered red faced. Matt just stared at him.

"Go," he said in a deadly calm voice. Jace was fuming as he stormed passed Matt to where his partner was kneeling in the deep snow. "If you two can't act like human beings then you can sleep out in the barn with the animals." With that, he slammed the door closed. Turning around he saw Kitty leading Ginger into the washroom. She came out a few minutes later with bloody hands.

"I need water," she told J.R. He was looking at her hands very concerned. "It's not as bad as it looks. I just need some water to rinse the wound…and some bandages." J.R. nodded and went to get his coat.

"You go and get the bandages, J.R.," Matt instructed, "I'll go and get the water."

**mkmk**

Matt stood by the well, cranking up the bucket full of icy water.

"Marshal," he heard from behind, "What's goin' on?" asked Paul as he and Jeff came over.

"Yeah," Jeff said jerking a thumb over his shoulder. "Why are them two fellas holed up in the barn?"

"They got too rowdy," Matt briefly explained. He unhooked the bucket from the rope and quickly walked back to the station with the two drivers behind him.

He opened the door and Kitty swiftly walked over to take the water from him, once again disappearing behind the washroom door.

"You think them fellas are gonna try anything?" J.R. asked as he came over to put some more wood on the fire.

"I doubt it," Matt told him. "They haven't got any weapons and besides it's too cold."

"They ever say what their names were, Marshal?" Paul asked.

"You're a marshal?" J.R. interrupted surprised. Matt nodded.

"Outta Dodge City."

"You did that on purpose!" came the shrill voice. All four men's heads whipped around as Ginger stormed out of the washroom followed by Kitty.

"Look, honey, you can bleed to death if you want, but if you don't put your hand in the water it won't stop!" Kitty tried to explain.

"You just did that to be mean. You could've told me the water was so cold." Kitty threw the rag that she was holding onto the table and walked over to grab her cape off the hook.

"You can take care of it yourself. I'm gonna get some air." Matt moved to followed her, but not before Ginger blocked his path.

"Matt, do you think you could help me?" she asked innocently. She looked down at the sight of her bloody hand and stumbled forward. "Oh, I don't feel so good." Matt rolled his eyes and brought his hands up to her arms to steady her. The other three men were trying to control the grins spreading across their faces.

**mkmk**

Kitty stood near the edge of the porch watching as the fat flakes of snow fell to become one with the white mass already on the ground. She took in a deep lungful of the cold but refreshing air and exhaled through her mouth, watching as the foggy breath vaporized into the night.

St. Louis was supposed to be her final stop, but she didn't know if she wanted to stay with Matt being there. When she had left Dodge, she was on her way to California, but after a few days on the stage, her anger left her and she thought twice about that decision. She waited until the next stop and then amended her ticket. She traveled to different cities in Kansas, stopping here and there to replenish her money, and eventually she ended up in Jefferson City, Missouri. She had been there two weeks before deciding to move on.

On the outside she had been handling Matt's presence well, but inside all of the feelings were starting to come back full force. This was the man that she thought she would be spending the rest of her life with. She used to imagine that one day they would have a house together and babies. Of course they'd had the talk about his job and how those things would be a long way off, but still, she didn't even want to dream those things with anyone else. Now, those dreams had been obliterated and Matt's presence was only reminding her of the things she wouldn't be able to have with him. Kitty had _never_ fallen for someone so hard, so entirely. She had always been careful not to. He was the first person that she had let get so completely close to her. She wanted to scream in anger at the tears that suddenly stung her eyes. She figured that it had to be the worst feeling in the world to love someone who didn't love you back, but at least he hadn't used her for sex, she thought acrimoniously as the tears came even harder. She didn't hear the door open and close softly behind her.

Matt watched her for a moment as she stood facing away from him. The moonlight showed him the flakes that were sticking lightly in her hair. He took a step closer and she spun around suddenly. The moonlight also showed him the tears in her eyes.

"Kitty, are you alright?" he asked stepping closer. His hands came up to her arms, but she moved away before he could touch her. She turned away from him and tried to discretely wipe her eyes.

"I'm fine," she told him. "You just startled me is all." Matt sighed quietly as he watched her. He wanted to say more, but he didn't want to push her. "So how is Nutmeg's hand?" she asked mockingly. Matt wanted to laugh, but he held it in.

"Its fine," he answered. "I finally got her to put it in the water." She nodded. "You should come inside, Kitty. You've been out here for ten minutes already." She turned her body a little and he could see her chin quivering again. Her ears and her cheeks were blushing from the cold.

Kitty knew that he was right, but she didn't want to go inside yet. "You go ahead, Matt. I'll only be a few minutes." She stared unblinkingly into the night, more than aware of his closeness. She wanted him to leave, but at the same time she didn't.

Matt smiled. "Well, if you insist on stayin' out here, at least let me keep you warm." It was like he couldn't help himself. "I don't want you to get sick." He stepped closer and before she could protest, he wrapped his arms around her tightly, his hand rubbing up and down her arm.

Kitty surrendered into his warmth and turned until her face was pressed against his chest. One of his large hands wrapped around her waist, pulling her tighter to him, while the other moved to her back. She was so tired and he felt so good.

Matt had forgotten just how good it felt to hold her, and she smelled so nice. Since she had been gone, he buried himself in his work and he tried so hard not to think about how much it hurt to let her go. Doc had been angry because he thought that Matt didn't care, but he of all people should have known how much he did. He leaned down and planted a light kiss on her head. "I still care, Kitty," he whispered. He wanted her to know that, at least. She slowly lifted her head from its warm spot on his chest and looked into his eyes. Matt brought his hand up to rest against the side of her face. Kitty closed her eyes at his touch and he couldn't resist as he leaned down to brush her lips with his own.

Her cool mouth against his was like heaven. He moved to nuzzle her cheek—her smooth skin against his rough face. Kitty couldn't help herself as the soft noises escaped her. Matt brought his mouth back to hers and took her lips in a starving kiss. She felt his tongue inside of her mouth exploring and tasting and she wanted to lose herself in the passion forever, but unfortunately her brain reminded her that this was the man who had rejected her not very long ago. Suddenly, she pulled away, holding him at arms length.

"Matt," she breathed heavily, "No…no…" she said closing her eyes, trying to fight the sensations coursing through her body. Matt stood panting, his breaths coming out in cloudy puffs. He tried to pull her back to him, but she stood her ground. "No," she said stronger this time, having regained control of herself, "No. You can't do this. This isn't fair." Matt saw the spark of anger in her eyes. "You made it perfectly clear how you felt all those months ago and just because you're _lonely_ doesn't mean that you can just use me for comfort!" She fumed. She knew deep down that Matt wouldn't do such a thing, that no matter what they had been through he wouldn't do that, but he was sending her mixed signals and it was making her angry.

"Kitty…" Matt tried to assure her, but she wouldn't hear it.

"No." She dropped her hand from his chest and calmed herself. "Look, we still have quite a ways to go on this trip and I don't want to have to feel uncomfortable around you."

"Kitty, you don't have to feel uncomfortable around me. You know I would never do anything to hurt you," he hurried to explain. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her that he loved her, to beg her to come back to him, but then he remembered why he had ended things in the first place.

"But you did hurt me," she whispered. "Whether you meant to or not," she said in a shaky voice, "And I know you've apologized for it, but it doesn't really help." She closed her eyes for a moment, once again trying to get a hold of her emotions, which were always out of control when she was near this man. She didn't mean to reveal to him just how bad she felt inside. "It wasn't fair of you to…kiss…me," she said awkwardly. "I doubt that you've changed your mind about us." Of course, she was expecting it, but it still hurt when he slowly shook his head.

"No," he whispered. She didn't know how badly he wanted to say yes. He felt like a little boy being scolded and he knew he deserved it. He wanted to beat himself up for his lack of control.

"We should go inside," she said breezing past him, and not for the first time, Matt felt like such a jerk.

To be continued…


	10. The Inevitable Stage Accident

**Gunsmoke:** _Never Wanna Live Without You_

Part 10

The next morning, everyone was still sleeping when Kitty woke up. She pulled her stiff body up off of the hard floor and looked around to see everyone sprawled out, except for Ginger who had hustled her way into using J.R.'s cot. He had fallen asleep behind the counter. Walking over to the window, she saw that the snow had stopped and the sun was beginning to rise. It was sure to be slow going on the stage again, but she didn't care as long as they were going. She was tired of the weather and she wanted to be away from Matt as soon as possible. This trip was only reminding her of why it was a good thing she had left Dodge. There was no way she could have been so close to him everyday.

Making sure to be quiet, Kitty slipped out the door and onto the porch for a bit of fresh morning air. It was windy out and she pulled her cape tighter around herself, flipping the hood up and over her head, as well. The landscape was a bright white as far as she could see, only marred occasionally by a naked tree here and there. She had never seen so much snow before, being from Louisiana. She took a step off of the porch and sank down deep into the deceiving snowfall. She cursed as she felt it once again spilling into her boots. Slowly, but surely, she trudged her way around the corner of the building and to the back towards the outhouse. It was a dreadful thing to have to go outside to use the loo—a friend of hers called it that once—in such chilling weather.

Once finished, she stepped out of the confined building and proceeded to make her way back inside. She had taken no more than five steps before she heard the fast crunching of snow coming up behind her. She was pushed face first into the snow and she quickly scrambled around to see who her attacker was.

**mkmk**

Inside the relay station, Matt awoke to the sun streaming in through the windows. He sat up on the floor and rubbed at his sleepy eyes. The fire had died sometime during the night. Paul and Jeff were still sleeping a few feet away and he assumed Ginger was still in the other room. J.R. was at the counter and the only person unaccounted for was Kitty. Not panicking, Matt simply assumed that she had gone outside to do her business. If she didn't come back in a few minutes, he would go looking for her. He stood slowly from the floor and walked the few steps to the fireplace to try and get it going again. As he was placing kindling around some of the logs, he heard the muffled sound of horses snorting and whinnying. More than curious he went over to the door, his heavy footsteps waking the others. Stepping out onto the front porch, he heard commotion coming from the back.

"_What is all that racket?"_ he heard an annoyed Ginger ask in the background. Just as he rounded the corner of the house, he saw Ben and Jace come roaring out of the open barn doors with the team of horses and the stage.

"Yah! Yah!" Ben yelled as he slapped the horses with the reigns, urging them on faster.

They went thundering by and Jace screamed, "See if you can save your little girlfriend now!" As the stage passed by him, Matt peered inside and caught a glimpse of Kitty slumped in the corner.

By this time Paul and the others had come out onto the porch. Matt immediately took off for the barn to get a horse, but before he could reach it, he heard a terrible noise. "Marshal!" He turned back at the sound of his name to see that the stage had crashed onto its side, the horses fighting to stand. Paul and Jeff had already started running toward it, while Ginger stood on the porch aghast. Matt ran as fast as he could to the wreck trying to get to Kitty, while Paul and Jeff tried to steady the horses that were still dragging the stage some in their struggle. Matt reached the stage and pulled himself up onto the side of it. He flung the door open and looked inside to see Kitty unconscious and lying awkwardly. There was a deep gash across her forehead and a smaller wound on her cheek. He lowered himself in as to not step on her and kneeled down to assess the damage. He unbuttoned her cape and ran his hands down her body, checking for injuries.

"Kitty?" he whispered frantically. "Kitty, can you hear me?" He placed two fingers on her neck and was relieved to feel a steady pulse. He gently lifted her head and smoothed his fingers down the side of her face. "Kitty?" he called again. Her eyes slowly blinked open and she looked at him dopey.

"Matt," she slurred. "What happened?" she asked before passing out. Matt laid her head back down and stood up.

"Paul! I need you help," he yelled. It was going to be hard getting her out without jostling her. He bent down again and lifted Kitty from under the arms. Paul reached inside and got a hold of her and once she was out, Matt climbed out and took her in his arms. "Where are Ben and Jace?" he asked as he high stepped through the snow. He hadn't even thought twice about them.

"Jace is dead," Paul answered. "He must've landed wrong when they got thrown from the stage. His neck was broke. Ben's got a busted leg. Jeff already took him inside." They reached the porch and Matt rushed passed a still stunned Ginger and J.R. He passed Ben who was writhing in agony on the floor and immediately went to lay her down carefully on J.R.'s cot.

"Is she going to be alright, Matt?" Ginger asked from the doorway.

"See about getting some water for her," he ordered. He didn't have time to listen to Ginger's false concern. She was caught off guard by his tone and turned to leave the room. Paul came back a few minutes later with a bucket of water and some cloths.

"How is she, Marshal?" he asked quietly. Matt could hear the genuine worry in his voice.

"I think she'll be alright. She's just banged up is all." Paul nodded and watched as Matt gently cleaned her wounds. It was quite obvious that he cared about the woman a great deal. He turned to leave, feeling like he was intruding on a private moment.

**mkmk**

This time it was Matt's turn to go out onto the porch for some air. Kitty had woken up a few times only to pass out again. Aside from her cuts, a few bruises had started to form on her jaw. Matt wanted to pummel Ben for what he and Jace had done. His thoughts went back to that morning and he was more afraid than he liked to admit when he saw the stage turned onto its side. He couldn't stop picturing Kitty's lifeless body. He shook the images away and took a deep breath.

Somehow, he had forgotten that Kitty could be hurt in other ways, aside from being with him. If they went their separate ways once they got to St. Louis, he would never ever know if something happened to her. She would probably look at him like he was crazy if he asked her to send him a telegram from time to time so he could keep tabs on her.

**mkmk**

The throbbing behind her eyes was what woke her up this time. Kitty opened them slowly and looked around the Spartan room. The walls were plain wood with no insulation and there weren't any pictures or trinkets anywhere. Definitely not her room at the Long Branch. She tried to sit up on the uncomfortable bed and she regretted it as soon as she did it. Her breathing became shallow and she willed her body not to puke. She was breathing so hard that the sound filled up the entire room, her body breaking out into a cold sweat. She wanted to call for someone, but she didn't have the strength. Just then, the door creaked open and in came Matt with a fresh bucket of water.

"Kitty," he said kneeling down in front of her. Her face looked pale and clammy.

"Matt," she said quietly, "What happened to me?" she asked as the nausea subsided a little.

"You don't remember?"

"No."

"Ben and Jace grabbed you this morning and they tried to take off with you in the stage. It flipped over and you were hurt," he explained as he placed a hand under her chin trying to look into her eyes to make sure they were focusing. "How does your head feel?"

"It's pounding," she told him painfully. "When are we leaving this place?" she asked, realizing that they were indeed still at the relay station.

"Well, the only real damage to the stage was the wheel. There was a big rock buried under the snow and Ben and Jace didn't see it. It was enough to send the stage crashing though. Paul and Jeff are out fixing it now. Do you feel well enough?" he asked her. Kitty looked into his eyes and saw the worry in them. Her sickness had subsided for the time being.

"I think I'll be okay. I just want to get out of here."

"Lean on me and see if you can stand." Kitty braced herself on his arms and slowly stood from the bed. She by no means felt great, but she was sure she could handle the stage if it meant leaving. What she wouldn't give for a little privacy right then and maybe by the time they arrived in St. Louis, she would feel like eating a real meal.

To be continued…


	11. St Louis, Finally

**Gunsmoke:** _Never Wanna Live Without You_

Part 11

It took another two days before they finally arrived in St. Louis. The snow caused them to make frequent stops at relay stations and small towns. This time the seating arrangement was different. Matt insisted that Kitty sit next to him and Kitty, being too tired to argue, did so. She didn't want to, but she couldn't stop herself from leaning on him. Her head didn't seem to be getting any better and she couldn't help dozing off and waking up to find that she was leaning all over him, and although the snow helped to soften the ride, the occasional rut in the road didn't help it any. A few times she woke to find that his arm was around her and she was snuggled into his warmth, but rather than fighting, she simply closed her eyes and continued to rest.

Ginger, who was none to happy about having to watch the affectionate display between the two, was sitting next to Kitty while Ben, who was now Matt's prisoner until they arrived in St. Louis, was on the other bench with his leg propped up. Paul had tended to his knee as best he could at the relay station, while Matt was tending Kitty. Surprisingly, he hadn't made a peep since the whole incident, except to groan in pain every now and then.

Now, they all sat anxiously as the stage made its way through the busy town. Matt wanted to find a doctor for Kitty right away, but he had to take care of his prisoner. He cursed the situation of having to put his job before her. Maybe Paul could help him.

The stage finally stopped in front of the stage office that was conveniently located next to a hotel. Jeff opened the door for them and proceeded to help Ginger off of the stage first.

"Kitty," Matt said with his arm still around her. "Just as soon as I take care of him, I'm gonna get a doctor for you. Your head should be feeling better by now."

"Matt, I'm fine. I can take care of myself," she said weakly. "I just need food and rest. I haven't eaten a thing all day." She summonsed all of the strength she had and proceeded to get out of the stage without anyone's help. She didn't want Matt trying to baby-sit her all night. She stepped out onto the boardwalk and Paul was standing there with her bags ready.

"Kitty," Matt said getting out behind her, "You've been in a stage wreck and you banged your head up pretty good. You need to see a doctor," he insisted.

"What about me, huh, Marshal?" yelled the prisoner from still inside the stage. "I need a doctor more than she does!"

"Paul," Matt said ignoring the man, "Where's the sheriff's office in this town and the doctor?"

"The jail is right down the street, Marshal," he pointed, "And the doctor is the next street over."

"Matt, don't be ridiculous. You have a prisoner that needs to be locked up and I can take care of myself," Kitty claimed. She didn't want to admit just how bad she really felt and she knew that if she didn't find a bed soon, she would pass out. "Besides, your job is more important," she said before turning around to walk toward the hotel.

She hadn't really meant anything by them, but her words hit him like a slap in the face. Is that what she really thought? Had he ever given her a reason to think otherwise?

"Paul," he called as he kept his eyes on her retreating form, "I need you to do me a favor."

"Sure, Marshal. You want me to look after her?" he asked.

"No, I want you to take him down to the jail for me. And if they give you any problems, tell the man in charge that you're an acting deputy for U.S. Marshal Matt Dillon outta Dodge," he told him.

"Sure, Marshal." Matt wasted no more time and grabbed his bag. He hurried to catch up with her and he saw her stumble at the door to the hotel. She fell back against the wall of the building and began to sink down. Matt jogged the rest of the way to her and grabbed her around the shoulders just before she hit the ground.

"Kitty," he said panicked. She leaned against him heavily as her bags fell to the boardwalk.

"Matt," she breathed weakly. Her vision was swimming and before she knew it she was passed out. Matt picked her up easily and carried her inside the hotel. He spotted the clerk and called for him to get a doctor.

**mkmk**

Kitty woke up to the sound of deep, rumbling voices. Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked around the room, but didn't see anyone.

This time, the walls were decorated in a mauve color. There was a nightstand at the head of the bed with a lit lamp, and a cushioned chair against the wall. She turned her head to the sound of crackling and found a medium sized fire burning bright in the fireplace; the room was nice and toasty. One thing she knew for sure was that they weren't at the relay station anymore.

She brought a hand up to her neck realizing that she was hot, actually, and starting to sweat. She unbuttoned her jacket and the top few buttons of her high collared blouse and then let the back of her hand rest against her forehead.

The voices must have been coming from outside the door. She let herself rest for a few more minutes and then eased into a sitting position. No dizziness. That was a good sign. She took a better look around and noticed a small table and two chairs near the door. She also noticed another door, which was probably the washroom. Standing, she took a few tentative steps and made her way to the window and looked down onto the busy street below. Now she remembered. They had made it to St. Louis, finally.

It was dark outside now and she looked at the clock to see that it was almost six thirty. Turning around, she dropped back down onto the bed. She felt weak, but she was sure it was only because she hadn't had any food at all that day. She looked to the nightstand on the other side of the bed and spotted a glass of water and a small container of beige colored pills. Obviously, some sort of doctor had been in the room with her. She wondered where Matt was. As far as she could remember, he had a prisoner to take care of, so she wondered who was responsible for getting her into this room. Paul, maybe. She wasn't terribly worried about it though. All she knew was that she wanted a hot bath and something to eat.

_Where are my bags?_ She once again stood from the bed and began looking around the room. Finally, she spotted three bags located at the foot of the bed and she recognized the one as Matt's. So, he was who had taken care of her after all. Where was he now?

Just then, the door came open and there he was with some sort of basket in his hands.

"Kitty," he said surprised, "You're awake." She took a few steps toward him with a determined look on her face and he was sure he was about to get sent away.

"Is that food in that basket?" she asked trying to peer inside, her voice still thick from sleep. Matt nodded and sat it on the table and she began to rifle through it. At least she wasn't trying to get rid of him.

"There's baked chicken, green beans, boiled potatoes, and I got you some sweet potato pie," he told her. She gave him a quick glance when he mentioned the pie. He knew it was one of her favorites. There was also coffee.

"Thanks," she mumbled and sat down to eat, not caring in the least about etiquette. She uncovered the plate and picked up the chicken leg. Matt couldn't help the smile that came to his face as he watched her take a healthy bite.

Her having an appetite was definitely a good sign. The doctor had assured him that there was nothing seriously wrong with her and that she merely hit her head harder than they originally thought. He knew he should have insisted that she get more rest at the relay station before they left, but it was too late now and he was simply going to make sure that she took it easy for a few days, no matter how much she fought him on it.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Kitty asked as she picked the skin off of her potato with her fork.

"Yeah, but first I need to stop by the jail and make sure everything is taken care of," he explained and started for the entrance. "I'll be back in a little bit to check on you." He closed the door before she could protest.

**mkmk**

After she had finished eating, Kitty went downstairs to see about getting some bath water sent up and twenty minutes later she was soaking her tired body in the steaming liquid. Her leg was propped up on the edge and she lazily ran the bar of soap down her thigh, slick with water. She felt ten times better after having had something to eat, but she still had a small headache, something she was sure a little more sleep would cure.

A little while later, she came out of the bathroom to find Matt sitting at the table eating. Why was he still in her room?

Matt looked up at the sound of the door opening and watched as Kitty walked out in a fluffy robe. She stopped to look at him with a blank expression and then continued on to her bags. He figured that now was as good a time as any to tell her that they had to share a room. "Kitty," he started. She looked over to him and waited for him to continue. "Umm, I guess I should tell you…we'll have to share a room for tonight at least. A lot of runs come through St. Louis and a lot of people got stuck here due to the weather. Everything is all booked up," he explained. She just stared at him for a few seconds and then made her way back into the washroom.

She wasn't acting at all like he expected. He thought for sure she would fuss or _something_, but he couldn't even make out an expression on her face. Kitty was a rebel; he wasn't used to no response from her at all, in any situation. She came back a few minutes later, changed into a light blue sleeping gown and her face clean of makeup. Walking over to the table, she poured herself a cup of the now lukewarm coffee and went over to sit on the bed. Matt's nose was hit with the fresh scent of her. This situation was even more awkward than the stage ride and the night at the relay station.

Matt figured he better get himself cleaned up, too. He grabbed his bag and headed into the washroom and when he came out fifteen minutes later, Kitty was sitting in the middle of the bed playing a game of solitary. She didn't even look up when he came into the room. Matt was pretty sure now that she was ignoring him. He looked over to the nightstand to see that the pills and water hadn't been touched.

"Kitty, the doctor strongly suggested that you take two of those pills for your head," he explained.

"I don't need them. My head feels fine now," she said in a flat voice. There was still the ache behind her eyes, but like she told herself, nothing a little more sleep wouldn't cure.

"I don't think you should take any chances," he said. Kitty looked up at him then and Matt could see that familiar spark in her eye.

"Frankly, Matt Dillon, I don't really care what you think right now," she said with a little anger in her voice. She looked down to her game and flipped the cards with a little more force than necessary. Then she gave up on the game completely and began gathering up the cards.

Matt was wise to say nothing. He went about getting ready for bed as he discretely watched her do the same. It was just turning eight, but he had to be up early for the conference tomorrow and he was sure that Kitty needed her rest as well. One thing he wasn't looking forward to was a night on the hard floor. The bed was quite big actually, and he was sure they would both fit on it without having to touch, but he doubted, very much, that she was up to sharing and when she threw a pillow onto the chair for him, he had his answer for sure.

**mkmk**

They had turned the lamps down an hour ago and Kitty lay in bed wide awake, despite how tired she was. She couldn't believe that she was sharing a room with him. She watched as the shadows of the flames danced on the walls and listened as he tossed and turned on the floor in front of the fireplace.

"Matt?" she called to him. Her anger from a while ago had faded.

"Yeah?" he asked as he folded his pillow, trying to make it more comfortable.

"Why are you here with me?" she asked directly.

"Kitty, you hit your head and you passed out…"

"No," she interrupted, "Why are you taking it upon yourself to take care of me? I'm sure Paul or someone would have made sure I was okay," she tried to explain. Matt made a sour face at the thought of Paul sharing a room with her instead of him. He stared up at the ceiling and chose his words.

"Kitty, it's like I told you at the relay station, I still care about you...your wellbeing."

"Why?" she asked as she sat up in the bed. "You made it perfectly clear in Dodge that you didn't want me anymore and I still can't say that I completely understand that. So, why would you take it upon yourself to try and help me now?" she asked. He stayed quiet for a long time and Kitty wasn't sure if she was going to get an answer or not.

Matt didn't really know how to answer her. He knew what he wanted to say, what he had been thinking ever since that day in Dodge, but he didn't know if he had a right to say it. He figured he had put her through too much already to give her a half truth now though.

"Kitty…" he began slowly, "I meant what I said. I do care about you…a lot…I wouldn't trust anyone else to take care of you." He paused having to force his next words out. "Kitty, I think I was wrong to let you go. I told you that a relationship wouldn't work with my job and part of me still thinks that, but the other part of me just used it as an excuse." He rubbed a hand across his forehead. It wasn't easy for him to have to talk about his feelings, but it was Kitty and she deserved honesty. "I saw how John was with you and it made me angry that I couldn't be there for you like he was. Then I thought about Leona…and how she left. She was sick of my job, but I couldn't do anything about that and I figured it was only a matter of time before you got sick of it, too…and left me, too." Kitty stayed quiet as he continued. "It wasn't fair to you, but I figured I would save myself the hurt in the long run and send you away before you left me." If he sat up and looked at her, he would have seen the tears running down her cheeks. "I still think that my being a lawman could be unsafe for you, but since we met again on the stage, I'm beginning to realize that I don't want anybody to watch out for you but me. I couldn't stand it if something happened to you, Kitty," he finished. Now it was his turn to wait and see if he would get a response.

Kitty closed her eyes and wiped her face. Matt had just poured his heart out to her and she knew that was a hard thing for him, but she was still hurt by his actions. She wasn't ready to tell him that she understood—even if she did, now—or that everything would be okay. She eased back down on the bed and once again faced away from the fire.

Matt heard her sniffles as he continued to stare at the ceiling and he was sure that he had just made the situation even worse. What did he really expect her reaction to be? He wanted her, needed her, loved her; there was no doubt, but did he deserve her? He stood up from his pallet on the floor and walked around to stand in front of her. He kneeled down and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Kitty…please, don't cry," he told her gently as he leaned in to place his forehead against hers. He didn't expect it when she reached out to hug him around the neck. He hugged her back tightly and buried his face into her neck. "I'm so sorry, Kit. I never meant to hurt you," he whispered. Kitty hugged him even closer and he climbed onto the bed next to her. "I'm sorry," he said again.

They laid that way for a long time and Kitty's cries eventually calmed. Her grip had loosened some on his neck and he was sure that she was asleep. He moved a little to make himself more comfortable and he felt her stir.

"Matt," she said sleepily, "Don't go."

"I'm here," he told her, planting a kiss in her hair.

"Matt," she said again after a few minutes silence.

"Yeah, Kitty?"

"I would have never left you," she said softly before drifting off.

To be continued…


	12. Forgiven

**Gunsmoke:** _Never Wanna Live Without You_

Part 12

The next morning Matt woke up exhausted. He had slept curled around Kitty all night and he didn't want to move for anything, but, very reluctantly, he did. The room had cooled immensely and he moved to restart the fire so that Kitty wouldn't have to wake up to the cold.

Fifteen minutes later the fire was blazing and he was ready for his meeting, dressed in his charcoal gray jacket, black trousers and string tie. He put on his black, wool coat and black hat, and then scribbled Kitty a quick note, placing it on the bed next to her. He didn't know when he'd be back, but he hoped that it wouldn't be long. He wanted to get back and make sure Kitty rested and he wanted to talk to her more.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he watched her beautiful face tenderly. He traced an index finger gently across the healing cut on her forehead and sighed. If he had any chances left with this woman he was going to take them, even if he didn't deserve her. Leaning down, he kissed her cheek and then left the room.

**mkmk**

Kitty woke a few hours later to the sound of the hustle and bustle on the street. The fire was still going steady and the sun was shining brightly into the window. She sat up in the bed and was happy to find that her headache was gone. She felt good—a lot better than she had in the past week. Her cry last night had refreshed her, allowing her to release all of the bottled up emotion she had been carrying around. Her thoughts drifted back to what Matt had said to her last night and she knew she had a lot to think about.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the note sitting on the bed.

_**Kitty,**_

_**Had to go and take care of some things. Hopefully I won't be gone too long. Please, take it easy today and eat a big breakfast.**_

_**Love, Matt**_

_Love, Matt_? Kitty was shocked at his openness. He had never actually told her that he loved her and not wanting to think about it just then, she sat the note aside and headed into the washroom.

A short while later, she was clean and dressed. She did intend to take it easy, but there was no way she would stay cooped up in the room all day. After all, she had come to St. Louis to visit a friend of hers and that was exactly what she was going to do.

**mkmk**

After a hardy breakfast of oatmeal, bacon and eggs, Kitty walked to the cluster of houses located near the eastern edge of town. Gilly's letter said to look for a brown house with a black door. She walked along the shoveled pathway until she came to it, and opening the gate, she walked up to the entrance and used the brass knocker. A few minutes later, the door opened to show a blonde haired, blue eyed woman wearing a deep green dress.

"Kitty!" she exclaimed and pulled her into an embrace. She pulled back and examined Kitty's scratched face. "Honey, what on earth happened?"

"Oh, Gilly, I'm okay. It's so good to see you," she said as she hugged her friend to her tight.

"How about some tea?" Gilly asked a few minutes later.

"Oh, I'd love a cup," Kitty said as she took a seat at the kitchen table. She and Gillian Olson had been best friends back in Louisiana and it had been a good two years since they last saw each other. They always kept in touch through the occasional letter, though. Gilly was married now and she had a son. They had all moved to St. Louis a year ago.

"How long will you be here, Kitty?" Gilly asked as she joined her at the table and poured them both a cup of tea.

"I'm not sure. A couple of days maybe," she said and wondered how long Matt was going to be in town. "I'm staying over at the _Pavilion_."

"Best hotel in town," Gilly smiled, "But Kitty, you should have come right away. You could have stayed with me."

"I know, but it's been a rough couple of weeks for me and I was just exhausted from the stage ride," she said vaguely, not wanting to go into all of the details.

Gilly gave Kitty a skeptical look. "There has to be more to it than that. Are you going to tell me what happened to your face or am I going to have to guess?"

"You know me too well," Kitty conceded with a sigh.

"You're right, I do, and we're gonna go into the parlor and get comfortable so you can tell me all about it," Gilly bossed.

And Kitty did. She told her all about Ben and Jace and the accident at the relay station, but she conveniently left out any personal involvement between her and Matt.

"Oh, Kitty, you must be feeling terrible."

"Well, I've felt better, that's for sure," Kitty said. "Where's Dirk and Greg?"

"Dirk had to go out of town on business and Greg just begged and begged to go along," Gilly said smiling. "I sure wish they could have been here so you could meet them. Greg is always asking me when he gets to meet his Aunt Kitty."

Kitty smiled. "When do you expect them back?"

"Not for a couple of days yet. Maybe you'll still be here when they get in."

Kitty and Gilly had been talking for hours now and Kitty was more tired than she thought she would be. She stared into her empty tea cup, wondering what she would say to Matt when she saw him later.

Gillian watched her friend lost in thought. She could tell that there was even more to Kitty's story. The Kitty she knew didn't let much get her down and she could see the sadness in her eyes. "Kitty, what is it?" she asked her gently.

Kitty knew it was silly to try and get anything past this woman. Back in Louisiana they had always stuck together like glue, had always looked out for each other. Gilly was one of the few people in the world who knew the real Kitty Russell and she knew that if there was ever a person she could talk to, it would be Gillian Olson.

"It's a man isn't it?" Gilly said knowingly. Kitty looked at her.

"And just why would you think that?" she asked. Gillian held back a smile as she watched her friend fiddle with her hands.

"Honey, you forget who you're talkin' to. I've known you since you were a girl and I can only remember seein' you this way two times. Once was when Joel Porter stole your first kiss from you behind the schoolhouse and the other time was over Cole Yankton," Gilly said. Kitty couldn't help smiling at the mention of Joel Porter.

"I haven't thought about Joel in years," she said as Gilly laughed. Kitty was twelve years old when he had stolen that kiss from her and after she had gotten over the shock of it, she punched him square in the mouth. The next day he followed her around like a puppy. Gilly had teased her and teased her until she realized that it was upsetting her. Then she figured out that Kitty had a crush on Joel and somehow, the next day, she and Joel were going steady. The courtship had lasted a good week until he tried to kiss her again. She was forced to give him another bloody lip.

"Oh, Gillian, I haven't had a laugh that hard in ages," Kitty said as the two women reminisced about old times.

"Tell me about him," Gillian said. Kitty sighed, knowing better than to think Gilly would forget.

"Well, he's a marshal out of Dodge City…"

"A lawman…impressive," Gilly interrupted.

"Don't go gettin' too excited. That's part of the problem," Kitty told her dryly.

"What's wrong with that?"

"Well, it's not my problem, it's his. He thinks I'll get hurt being with him."

"You could get hurt anywhere."

"Yeah, but he'd rather it not be while I was with him."

"So, what else?"

"I think he wants me to go back to Dodge with him."

"You mean he's here in St. Louis?" Gilly asked surprised. Kitty nodded. "He came all this way to get you?"

"No, he came here on business and we happened to run into each other."

"I thought he was afraid you'd get hurt?"

"He doesn't trust anyone else to look after me."

"Since when do you need looking after?"

"Since I became his."

"Is he a good man?"

"He's the best," Kitty sighed.

"Then what's the problem?" Gilly asked confused. Kitty didn't say anything. Gillian watched as her eyes became glassy. "Kitty, you're in love with him," she said matter-of-factly. Kitty nodded and her mouth turned into a pout. "Then what's stopping you from going to him?"

**mkmk**

Matt stood on the boardwalk and stretched like a bear after a long day of meetings. He wasn't too happy about having to come all this way just to discuss policy and procedure. He looked up to the darkening sky and then pulled his watch out to see that it was almost five-thirty. The meeting really had taken up the entire day. He stepped off of the boardwalk and headed toward the hotel so he could check on Kitty.

Walking into the room, he found it empty and he also found himself a little upset that Kitty didn't do as he had hoped. She had been in a pretty terrible accident, but she wasn't taking care of herself like she should.

Figuring she would probably be back soon, he went to see about getting their dinner.

**mkmk**

"Oh, Kitty, we've been sitting here all this time and I haven't offered you a thing to eat," said Gilly. "Why don't you lie down while I fix us up something," she suggested.

"That's mighty nice of you, Gilly, but I think I'd better be gettin' back to the hotel," Kitty said, thinking that if Matt was back by now that he was probably wondering where she was. "How about I stop by again tomorrow and we'll have dinner then?"

"That'd be wonderful. I'll cook something special for us," Gilly said walking her to the door where they stopped to hug. "Kitty," she said with her hands on the redhead's shoulders, "I think you should give this fella another chance." Kitty only smiled and gave her friend one last hug before leaving. She was thinking that maybe she would.

**mkmk**

When she arrived at the room, she noticed that the door was open slightly. Peeking inside, she saw Matt stooped down in front of his bag. The door creaked as she pushed it open further and Matt whipped his head around. "Kitty," he said with what sounded like relief to her ears.

"Matt," she said as she walked over to the fire and prepared to take her cape off. Her heart was beating fast.

"Where were you?" he asked, trying _not_ to sound like he had been worried.

"I went to visit that friend of mine," she answered as she glanced at him.

"Oh, well, I brought some dinner for us," he said running a hand through his hair and scratching the back of his head. "I hope you're hungry."

"I am thank you. I, uh, think I'll go and freshen up first, though," she said with a small smile as she went into the washroom.

Matt stood watching until the door closed quietly and then let out a nervous sigh. He had never been as unsure of himself as he was around this woman. He didn't know if he should bring up their conversation from last night or if he should wait until she said something. He didn't want to push her. She knew how he felt, but then again, he hadn't actually told her that he wanted her to come back to him. Maybe he needed to make himself clearer.

He walked over to the table and began taking the food out of the basket.

Kitty was in the next room giving herself a small pep talk. She wasn't even this nervous when they shared their first kiss and she closed her eyes at the thought of it. She had missed his touch so much.

Walking over to the water pitcher, she washed her hands and tried to calm herself. When she was done, she went to the door and took a deep breath before exiting.

Matt was squatting in front of the fire and stirring it with the poker. Looking over at the table, Kitty saw that everything had been laid out nicely. Most of the light in the room came from the fire, but there was one other lamp by the table that was lit as well. The room looked like it had been staged for a romantic evening. There was even a bottle of wine. She looked back over to him and stared.

Matt stood from the fire and stepped closer to her. "Everything is ready," he told her as he motioned over to the table. She didn't move, but kept on staring at him and he found himself caught up in her gaze. He stepped even closer, wanting so badly to touch her. "Kitty," he whispered. His hand reached out to hers and he watched as her eyes fell shut, her breathing heavy. Her fingers tightened around his and he brought them to his mouth, kissing them softly. "Kitty, I meant what I said last night. I was so wrong to let you go." He placed her hand over his heart where she could feel it beating rapidly. "I know I don't deserve you, but I want you," he said emotively. He brought a hand up to her face and her eyes opened, looking directly into his spirit. "I love you," he told softly, "Like I've never loved _anyone_…and I need you..." He traced a thumb across her bottom lip and slowly leaned in to kiss her.

Kitty didn't resist as she felt his lips caressing her own. She couldn't if she wanted to. Her hand was still on his chest and his heart couldn't lie to her. It told how sincere he was and how scared. Her other hand found its way to the back of his head and she deepened the embrace. It had been so long and it was almost overwhelming now that it was happening. She pressed her body closer to his, wanting to feel all of him.

Matt ended the kiss and hugged her tightly to him, his face pressed into the softness of her hair. "Kitty," he said. He loosened his hold some and looked at her, his hands on either side of her face. "Please, forgive me. I was stupid. We shouldn't've had to go through all of this pain and it's my fault because I was too afraid to tell you what I was feeling." He pulled her into another hug.

"Matt," Kitty said softly, as if she were waking him from a dream, "I forgive you and I love you. I never stopped. I couldn't." She pushed away from him slightly to look into his face. Her hand came up to the rough skin of his cheek. "I missed you so much," she said as she started to cry. She couldn't hold it in any longer.

Matt kissed her wet cheeks. He had come as close as he ever had to pouring out his heart these last couple of days. Like most men, he was taught that it was a weakness to show too much emotion, but with Kitty it was different. If there was anyone in the world that a man could show his feelings to it was his woman, and not showing her how he felt almost cost him the best thing that ever happened to him. He wouldn't make that mistake again.

To be continued…


	13. Love and Need and Want You

**Gunsmoke:** _Never Wanna Live Without You_

Part 13 Conclusion

After reluctantly letting each other go, Matt and Kitty sat down to their warm dinner. He didn't figure that Kitty could be completely recovered and he wanted her to make sure and eat.

"Matt, I told you," Kitty said gently, "I'm fine. My head doesn't hurt anymore. I don't feel dizzy," she tried to reassure him.

"I know," he said as he held her chair for her, "But I don't want to take any chances. You're precious to me," he said and leaned down to kiss her forehead. Kitty only smiled as she placed her napkin across her lap. If he wanted to fuss over her, she wasn't going to stop him. Matt pulled his chair around so that it was next to hers and pulled his plate to him. He'd had to go without her company for almost a half a year and he didn't want to waste one moment of their time together. "You know, Doc wouldn't talk to me the whole time you were gone," he told her as he poured them some coffee.

"Oh, Matt," Kitty said in disbelief.

"It's true," he said. He sat watching as she cut into her steak, occasionally taking a bite of his own food.

"Matt," Kitty laughed, "Are you gonna eat your food or are you just going to watch me eat mine?" she asked. Matt smiled and continued to stare. It was the first chance he had to really take her in since they ran into each other on the stage. He noticed that she had been styling her hair a bit differently. His eyes traveled down her body and she seemed to be even smaller than she already was, nothing a few good meals wouldn't fix.

"I missed you," he said softly. Kitty smiled adoringly and placed her hand on his cheek.

"I missed you, too," she told him. Matt caught her hand before she could move it and kissed her palm, then turned his attention back to his food. "What's with the bottle? You've never been much of a wine drinker," she questioned.

"I'm not. I got it for you," he said as he took a large bite of potatoes and a big chunk of steak into his mouth. He reached across the table and opened it for her.

"You should give it another try. I bet you'd like it."

"Nah, I had it once a long time ago and it tasted spoiled to me…like they used rotten grapes."

"Well, if it tasted rotten then it probably was," she said. "Here," she cut off a piece of her steak and held it out for him to eat. "Take that," he let her feed him, "And then take a small sip of wine after you swallow." Matt reluctantly brought the tiny glass to his mouth and did as he was told, surprised to find that it was quite delicious. "It's good, huh?" Kitty smiled as she took the glass from him and took a sip for herself.

"Yeah, it is. I guess I'll have to give wine another chance," he said.

"You just have to know how to drink it."

"And I suppose you learned about fine winery when you were in New Orleans, huh?" he asked smiling at her. It was so nice to be talking to her, simply having a light conversation.

"As a matter of fact I did. There was a woman I lived with after my mother died. She taught me all about it and lots of other things, too."

**mkmk**

Later on that night, after they were both dressed and ready for bed, Matt came out of the washroom to find Kitty sitting at the table having another glass of wine. She had taken her hair down and she was wearing a pale pink gown with a matching robe. He was wearing his undershirt, but he still had on his trousers over his underpants. He looked down at her bare feet and smiled. He had missed them too. "Aren't your feet cold?"

"A little," she said as she sat her glass aside. Matt stooped down and picked one foot up to massage it. "That feels good," she said as she looked down at him with half lidded eyes.

"Sleepy?" he asked. She nodded. "Come on then. Let's go to bed." She allowed herself to be pulled up and over to the bed where he wrapped her into his arms. She placed her arms around his neck and looked into his eyes.

"Kiss me," she instructed simply. Matt wasted no time in complying. The kiss was slow and easy, neither of them feeling the need to rush. He pulled at her soft lips with own as his hands smoothed up and down her back. Kitty trailed kisses down to his chin and across his jaw. "How was your meeting today?" she asked as she continued her assault across his face.

"Long," Matt said before capturing her mouth again. He could taste the wine on her tongue and decided that it tasted even better that way. "How was your visit?" he asked in between kisses.

"Long," Kitty repeated with a giggle. Matt smiled and broke the kiss.

"Come on then. You need to lie down." He helped slide her robe off, exposing the pale skin of her shoulders. How was he going to lie next to her all night when she looked so luscious? He didn't know. He couldn't resist leaning down to plant a kiss on the freckled skin.

Kitty walked around to her side of the bed and climbed in, while Matt went to put more wood on the fire. Her eyes followed him as he walked over to blow out the lamp. Then walking back to the bed, he took off his pants and climbed in next to her. Kitty wasted no time in snuggling in close. "I love you," she told him as she closed her eyes.

Matt planted a kiss on the top of her head. "I love you, too, Kitty."

**mkmk**

Kitty woke up just a few hours later from the heat of the room. She flexed her hand and opened her eyes to find that she was touching the firm skin of Matt's torso. He must have taken his shirt off sometime in the night, she thought. She could see the fine gleam of sweat on his chest and could tell by his even breathing that he was still asleep. Bringing her hand up, she slowly caressed the muscles of his chest and stomach. She couldn't believe that he was there with her. Their time apart seemed so surreal now. Her fingers played with the dusting of hair on his chest and then traveled to the line of hair running down his stomach.

Matt woke slowly to the pleasant feel of a smooth hand running across his chest. He opened his eyes and watched as Kitty's hand continued to create the wonderful sensations throughout his body. His hand tightened on her waist and he pulled her up until she was at his eye level. Her desire was evident. She leaned in and he was ready for her as he parted his lips to accept her warm, moist tongue.

Kitty pushed Matt onto his back and sat up to straddle him. He put his hands on her waist to hold her in place and looked into her eyes as she continued her massage of his chest. "Matt," she said softly, "I need to feel you next to me." He grabbed her hands and pulled her down until she was lying on top of him. He kissed her lips softly and felt the faint rocking of her hips against his stomach. He then rolled her over until she was beneath him, one of his legs resting in between hers.

They stayed that way for a long time exchanging long, slow, lazy kisses. Matt's hands rubbed along her hip and thigh and she could feel him pressing against her. "Kitty," he breathed as his hand snaked its way underneath the edge of her gown. "I want to see you." She pushed on his shoulders and he fell back onto the bed as she moved to straddle him again. Matt watched intently as she grabbed the edges of her gown and slowly pulled it up and over her head, revealing her lovely body to him. He reached out a hand to touch her face and then trailed the back of his fingers down to her neck, down between her full breasts and down her flat stomach, stopping just before he reached the soft patch of hair. "You're _so_ beautiful," he told her with an ardor reserved _only_ for her. Kitty leaned down to him and he closed his eyes at the feel of her breasts against his bare chest. She placed kisses along his neck and he felt her tongue teasing the underside of his chin.

"Now, I want to see you," she whispered into his ear before lightly nipping the lobe. Matt stood from the bed and there was no mistaking his plain arousal. Kitty kneeled on the bed in front of him and pushed his underwear down past his hips. Matt watched as she took in the sight of him with appreciative eyes, her fingers reaching out to touch his sensitive need. He placed his hands on her arms and gently eased her back onto the bed. Propping himself up on one arm, he looked down into her face and lovingly brushed a piece of hair from her eyes.

"I love you, Kitty" he told her. She put her arms around his neck and pulled him to her.

Matt took his sweet time exploring Kitty's body. He trailed his kisses from her mouth to her neck and down to her chest. He placed light kisses on the swell of one breast before taking the nipple into his warm mouth.

"Ohhh," Kitty moaned as she felt his moist tongue swirling and his lips suckling. He switched to her other breast where he showed the same delicious attention. "Matt, I need you," she whimpered as his kisses moved to her cleavage. She felt his hand moving along her stomach, his fingers playing gently in the downy hair between her legs. His touch went even further and she sucked in a breath as his long fingers slid gently between her slick flesh, massaging her most sensitive area.

Matt was in heaven at the feel of her. He moved his fingers tantalizingly slow over the soft area as he continued to love her breasts. The coarse hair of his face excited her as it brushed across her skin. He felt Kitty's hands moving across his back and shoulders and then slide down between them where she began caressing him. He couldn't stop his hips from lightly rocking at her touch. His fingers reluctantly left there haven in her warmth and trailed back up her body where he cupped her breast softly in his strong hand, his thumb brushing the hard nipple. Her hand left him and she wrapped her arms around his upper body. Matt moved until his hips were snug in between her legs and leaned down to take her mouth in a voracious kiss.

Kitty could feel him pressing against her middle and she writhed beneath him helplessly. "Matt…mmm…" she implored. She couldn't remember ever wanting a man so very much.

Matt pulled out of the kiss and looked into her eyes as he moved to slowly enter her body. He braced himself on his forearms as Kitty reached a hand down to help guide him inside. He rocked his hips oh-so-gently, letting her get used to the size of him and eased inside more and more at her urging. "Kitty," he whimpered tenderly and his eyes fell closed at the exquisite feel of her heat surrounding him. Her hands rubbed along his face and neck as he moved within her.

"Mmmm," she mewled softly. Matt opened his eyes to see her chest heaving and her mouth open. He forced his hips to stop and leaned down to run his tongue along her top lip. Kitty sucked it into her mouth and pulled him down so that more of his weight was resting against her.

They kissed and kissed with Matt only rocking his hips occasionally, teasing them both with the anticipation of the wonderful sensations to come. One of Kitty's legs was wrapped around him while the other moved restlessly along the tangled sheets and covers. Matt slowly increased his pace as her hands slid down to his firm behind, squeezing and kneading, urging him to go faster. He could feel her tightening around him. He lifted some and splayed his hand flat against her lower abdomen, his thumb moving in slow circles to satisfy her even further. He nearly exploded as he watched their bodies moving together. Waves of pleasure swept through both of them as Kitty gripped him even tighter. Their moans filled the room.

They lay together afterward; Matt still nestled inside of her. Kitty ran her hands lovingly through his hair and down his back, helping him to calm. They were both covered in a sheen of sweat.

"Matt," she whispered. He lifted his face from her neck and looked down at her. She pulled him in for a soft kiss. "Matt…that was…" She trailed off at a loss for words.

"I know," he said smiling down at her. He slowly moved his weight from her body, both of them shuddering at the loss of their physical connection. He moved to lie on his side, facing her, and pulled her in until her head was tucked under his chin. Neither said much, both still high from their loving. "I never want to live without you, Kitty," Matt said lovingly.

She placed light kisses on his chest. "You won't ever have to."

**mkmk**

The sunshine was what woke them up later that morning. Hands immediately began to touch and caress. Lips kissed and lingered. "Matt," Kitty said in between kisses, "When are we going home?"

He rolled onto his back and pulled her on top of him. "Whenever you want," he answered. Kitty smiled into his mouth. The way she was feeling now, they could just stay in the hotel room forever.

"I told Gillian that I would have dinner with her today," she said, gasping softly as his hands came to her breasts. "I want you to come with me."

"Who's Gillian?" he asked, loving the weight of her small body on top of his.

"She's my friend." Kitty moved so that her hips were in position with his.

"Ohhh…okay," he groaned as she eased down onto him.

"Mmm…" she whimpered at the feel of his fullness inside of her. "Do you have any more meetings?" She bit her bottom lip as they found their rhythm. Her hips steadily moved faster and faster. "Matt," she cried as he pushed his hips up harder. He never did answer her question.

**mkmk**

They finally pulled themselves from the bed around one that afternoon. "I can't even remember the last time I stayed in bed this long," Matt said as they dressed. "But then again, I never really had much incentive to." His eyes traveled down Kitty's body. She gave a husky laugh as she put the finishing touches on her hair.

Turning around, she saw that Matt had become lost in his thoughts. She walked over to the table where he was sitting and perched on his lap. He looked at her with a smile.

"Hey, what were you thinking about just then?" she asked. He pulled her in for a quick kiss.

"You know, Kitty," he began, "When we get back to Dodge, things might not be too different than they were before," he explained, troubled by the fact that his job was still a nuisance to any kind of personal life he had ever wanted.

She looked at him warmly and brought a hand up to smooth his brow. "Matt, I knew who you were and what you did from the very beginning of our friendship. I love all of you, including the lawman. You should never feel guilty for that." She rested her head against his. "Besides," she giggled, "there will be one difference."

"Oh, what's that?" he asked curious.

"Doc might talk to you now that I'm back."

The End.


End file.
